18+ JOKE ALL TYPE In HINDI and ENGLISH 18+

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_______________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

पप्पू ने एक लड़की से सेक्स के लिए पूछा?
लड़की: तुम इतने छोटे हो, मेरी जवानी का बोझ कैसे उठाओगे?
पप्पू: जानू मानता हूँ कि चूहा बोरी उठा नहीं सकता, मगर फाड़ तो सकता है।
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
गणित अध्यापिका ने कहा, "पप्पू, तेरे पास 6 लोलीपॉप हैं। 2 बंटी ने चूस लिया, 3 पिंकी न और 1 लक्की ने। तो तेरे पास कितने बचे?"
पप्पू: लौड़ा बचा, वो आप चूस लो।
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
संता और पप्पू एक दवाई की शॉप पर गए। और संता ने एक पैकेट कंडोम खरीदा।
पप्पू: पापा, ये क्या है?
संता: बेटा, ये चूहा मारने की दवाई है।
पप्पू: ओह बहनचोद, चूत में भी चूहे।
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
अध्यापिका: मच्छर के काटने से मलेरिया होता है ऐड्स क्यों नहीं?
पप्पू: क्योंकि, "मच्छर डंक मारता है, गांड नहीं, आगे से बकचोदी वाले सवाल मत पूछना।"
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
अध्यापिका: बच्चों आज हम व्याकरण पढेंगे, तो बताओ एक औरत एक खिड़की से झांक रही है, ये क्या है?
बंटी: मैडम जी, ये एक वचन हुआ।
अध्यापिका: अच्छा, पप्पू, अब तुम बताओ कि बहुत सी औरतें खिड़कियों से झांक रही हैं?
पप्पू कुछ सोचकर बोला, "मैडम, ये तो रंडी बाज़ार हुआ।"

Totly Laugh You Cant Stop Your Laugh

The reason women will never start
proposing is because,
the moment they get on their knees..
Men will start unzipping.

Boy to Girl: Tum Ladkiyan jab Susu
karti to usme, sssssssshh.. ki Aawaz kyun aati hai.
Girl Said: kyun ki hamare aage..
6 inch ka Silencer nahi Laga hota.

Boy ladki ke saamne pant utarkar bola:
kya tumhare paas aisa hai?
Girl panti utarkar boli:
jinke paas aisi hoti hai unke paas inki
koi kami nahi hoti.

What is BULL RIDING in sex?
TRY THIS:
Get on Top of Ur Girl While doing with
her..
Whisper another girl’s name gently!
Then see how long u can stay on top??

Boy: Chalo day night match khelte hai.
Girl: Nahi, 3 din ke bad.
Boy: Why?
Girl: Pitch abhi gili hai, tum chaho to
wollyboll khel sakte ho.

Santa ki wife Tours & Travels
magazine padhte huye:
Is baar 2nd honeymoon ke liye
GREECE kaisa rahega?
Santa: Kyon?
TEL mein kya kharabi hai..!!

Girls hostel mein ladkiyan cycle chala
rahi thi
aur bahut chilla rahi thi.
Madam boli: shor mat karo,
dheere-2 maza lo varna kal cycle
mein seet lagwa dungi.

Biwi: Mere paas proof hai ki tumhaara
chakkar padosan ke saath hai.
Pati: Kya proof hai?
Biwi: Uska Pati kal raat tumhaari
underwear pahan kar aaya tha.

Dr.: Apke Pati ko bhut kamjori hai,
Rozana doodh dijiye.
Lady: Roz Deti hun Dr.Saab,
lekin ye dabate jyada hain or peete
kam hai.

Mene mere dost Mr.Chatwani ko
Phone kiya
Uski Wife ne uthaya,
Maine kaat diya.
Ab Aap hi batao maie uski Wife se
kaise Puchta “Chatwani hai”.

Suhagrat ko Husband:
kuch karne ki Ejaazat hai..?
Dulhan shrmate hue: Hamne to kabhi
gairo ko bhi manaa nahi kiya,
Ab aap to fir bhi apne hai..!!

Girl: Baba mera Boyfrnd kab
sudhrega?
Baba: Use layi ho?
Girl: Nahi wo Ghar par hai.
Baba: Ok apni Bra utaro.
Girl: Kyu?
Baba: Uske Hatho ki lakeere dekhni
hai.

Teacher: In 3 mein fark batao!
CALL GIRL, GIRL FRIEND &
BIWI ?
Sari Class chup ho gayi
itne mein Pappu bola:
Madam ji, prepaid, postpaid &
unlimited.

Duniya ke saare bache strike pe hai?
Unka kehna hai ki huggies ki add mein
hume nanga dikhaya jata hai,
to phir stay-free ki add mein kyo
nahi??
pad to pad hota hai?

Lover: Darling Tum Chaddi kyon nahi
pahenti?
Lady: Mere husband ko maine
VACHAN de rakha hai ki..
usske alawa kisi ke bhi samne Chaddi
nahi utaarungi.

1 ladki ka mangetar mar gaya
Ladki rote hui boli
“Abhi to kuch dekha b nahi tha”
Santa ne Hosla diya
“Abhi Thodi der me NEHLAYENGE
tab dekh lena”.

Teacher- Whats Ur name?
Boy- Hola.
Teacher- Ye kaisa Naam h?
Boy- Main Holi ke din paida hua tha
na.
Teacher- Thnx God
Ye Lodi ke din nahi paida hua!

Banta: Ek white colour ka condom
dena.
Shopkeeper: White hi kyun?
Banta: Padosan ka husband guzar
gaya hai, afsos karne jaana hai.

1 girl had bunked the lecture and
moving around in college..
one profeser asked her: ye kya?
Period me ghumna?
Girl: yahi soch to badalni hai..!!

Yeh sab Chutiyapa hai

True luv is when a Boy asks d girl 4 a kiss & Girl simply closes her eyes & allows d boy to kiss on her lips..
But d boy kisses on d forehead & says I hv a whole life 2 Do dat..??

Bhai log, Yeh sab Chutiyapa hai. Jidhar bhi mauka mile mission poora kar dena. Just remember 'The 1 who hesitates..??
"Later masturbates"

issued in public interest ..

अर्ज़ किया है:

आप एफ टीवी (FTV) चैनल देखें।
आप हमेशा सोचेंगे कि "इसका नहीं तो अगली वाली का जरूर दिखेगा"।

अर्ज़ किया है:
नादान है कितनी वो, कुछ समझती ही नहीं;
सीने से लिपटकर पूछती है, "ये नीचे से क्या चुभ रहा है?"

लंड पे ऐतबार किसको है;
मिल जाए चोदने को तो इंकार किसको है;
कुछ मुश्किलें हैं चूत पाने में दोस्त;
वरना मुट्ठ मारने से प्यार किसको है!

जैसे फूली हुई रोटी कच्ची नहीं होती;
वैसे ही ब्रा पहनी हुई लड़की कभी बच्ची नहीं होती;
और
जैसे मगर मच्छ के आंसू कभी सच्चे नहीं होते;
वैसे मुंह में लंड देने से बच्चे नहीं होते!

Wah Wah Wah Wah

गम में भी हमको जीना आता है;
सेक्स करके भी पसीना आता है;
एक हम हैं कि तुम्हें अक्सर मैसेज करते हैं;
एक तुम्हारा मैसेज है, जैसे औरतों को महीना आता है

रात होगी तो कंडोम भी दुहाई देगा;
टांगो के बीच सारा जहां दिखाई देगा;
ये काम है जानी, जरा संभलकर करना;
एक कतरा भी गिरा तो 9 महीने बाद सुनाई देगा।

सकारात्मक सोच (Positive thinking) को कैसे बढाया जा सकता है

गर्लफ्रेंड अपने बॉयफ्रेंड की फटी अंडरवियर देख कर कहा, "तुम देसी चड्डी पहनते हो , ब्रांडेड नहीं?
बॉयफ्रेंड: जात ना पूछो साधू की पूछ लीजिये ज्ञान, मोल करो तलवार का फटी रहन दो म्यान।

एक गुब्बारे वाले की दुकान के बाहर लिखा था:
अगर अपने बच्चों को गुब्बारा नहीं दिला सकते तो वक्त पे गुब्बारा चढ़ा लिया करो।

पटियाला की दो बातें बड़ी मशहूर हैं।
पहला पटियाला पेग
और
दूसरा पटियाला सलवार।
एक चढ़ने के बाद मजा देती है और दूसरी उतरने के बाद।

सकारात्मक सोच (Positive thinking) को कैसे बढाया जा सकता है:

अर्ज़ किया है

अर्ज़ किया है:
उड़ती हुई फ्रॉक को काबू में रखो;
उड़ती हुई फ्रॉक को काबू में रखो;
वाह! वाह!
पैंटी ना पहनो कोई बात नहीं, कम से कम बगीचा तो साफ़ रखो।

हमारी एक मुस्कुराहट पर वो हमसे सेक्स कर बैठे;
वाह वाह।
हमारी एक मुस्कुराहट पर वो हमसे सेक्स कर बैठे;
वो पैंटी पहनने ही वाली थी कि हम फिर से मुस्कुरा बैठे।

मेरे हैं सिर्फ दो ही टट्टे;
वाह वाह...
भोसड़ी के पहले सुन तो।
मेरे हैं सिर्फ दो ही टट्टे;
यार चूस के बता, मीठे हैं या खट्टे।

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Boy Was in a Park behind a Tree
with his
GF. ♥ :-) :*
.
.
.
Old Man: Bete, Kya Ye Hamari
Sanskriti hai ?
.
.
.
.
. Boy: Nahi uncle! ye Pallavi hai,
Aap
Dusre Ped ke Peeche Check Karo !!

Supr pogo joke .

Supr pogo joke . . .
Ek baar ek aurat ko shadi karni thi,
usne newspaper mein add diya :
'ek pati chahiye, jo shadi ke baad mujhe na
maare,
jo ghar se kbhi na bhage aur
jo raat ko bistar mein mujhe satisify kare.
dusre din uske ghar ki bell baji aur
usne darwaza khola to wahan ek
admi wheelchair par baitha hua tha...
aurat ne pucha to tum mjhse shadi karne
aye ho..
usne kaha : haan...
aurat ne pucha :meri 3 sharton ka kya..
admi bola : mere hath nahin hain isliye
main tmhe shadi ke baad nahn maar
sakta..
meri tangein nahnhain iska
matlab shadi ke baad nahi bhagunga...
aurat ne kaha : meri teesri sharat ka kya?
admi ne kaha : tumne bell ki awaaz to suni
thi na.....

Rape Ke Uper Case

Court Mein Rape Ke Uper Ek Case Chal Raha Thha

Jis Ladki Ka Rape Hua Tha Vakeel Ne Us Se Pucha

Vakil: “Behenji Kya Hua Tha?”

Ladki: “Pehle Isne Mujhe Giraya”

Vakil: “Fir Kya Hua Behenji?”

Ladki: “Fir Blouse Fada”

Vakil: “Fir Behenji?”

Ladki: “Fir Pettikot Fada”

Vakil: “Fir Behenji?”

Ladki: “Fir Kya, Aapki Behn Chud Gayi“

साहब का कुत्ता मर गया

नौकर रोने लगा - साहब का कुत्ता मर गया ?

साहब बोले - भई , तुम हमारे कुत्ते को बहुत ज्यादा प्यार करते थे ?

नौकर बोला - साहब , कुछ मत पूछिए , जानी हमेशा झूठी रकाबियां जीभ से चाटकर साफ कर देता था | धोने-धुलाने से बच जाता था , हे भगवाव अब बरतन

कैसे साफ करूंगा ?

Talak Talak Talak

Adalat Mein Ek Talak Ka Case Aata Hai, Patni Judge Se Kehti Hai.

Patni: “Ye Mujhe Bahut Chodta Hai, Main In Ke Sath Nahi Reh Sakti”

Judge Uske Pati Se Puchta Hai: “Kitni Baar Chodte Ho Ek Din Mein?”

Pati: “Raat Ko Sone Se Pehle,

Phir Aadhi Raat Ko,

Phir Subah Chai Se Pehle,

Phir Chai Pee Ke,

Phir Breakfast Se Pehle,

Phir Breakfast Ke Baad,

Phir Office Jane Se Pehle,

Phir Office Se Aa Ke,

Phir Lunch Karke,

Phir Sham Ko Office Se Aa Ke,

Phir Chai Pee Ke,

Phir Dinner Se Phle Aur Fir Dinner Kar Ke,

Judge: “Itni Baar Chod Ke Tu Bor Nahi Hota?”

Pati: “Ji Jab Bor Hota Hu Tab Mutth Maar Leta Hu“

Maine Choot Suna

College Mein Ek Professor Bhooto Ke Baare Mein Bachhon Ko Lecture De Raha Tha, Aur Hall Mein Keval Ladke Hi Aaye Hue The.

Lecture Ke Beech Mein Professor Ne Puchha: “Kitne Bachhe Bhoot Mein Yakeen Karte Hai?”

Kareeb 50 Bachho Ke Haath Khade Ho Gaye.

Professor: “Bahut Achhe, Ab Ye Batao Ki Kitne Logo Ne Bhoot Ko Dekha Hai?”

Lagbag 20 Haath Khade Ho Gaye.

Professor: “Bahut Achhe, Achha Ab Ye Baatao Ki Bhoot Ko Kitne Logo Ne Bahut Kareeb Se Dekha Hai?”

Lagbhag 5 Haath Khade Ho Gaye.

Professor: “Shabash, Achha Ab Ye Batao Kitne Logon Ne Bhoot Ko Chooma Hai?”

Keval Ek Ladke Ka Haath Khada Hua Aur Wo Apna Pappu Tha.

Professor: “Maine Aaj Tak Khud Nahi Suna Ki Kisi Ne Aisa Kiya Ho, Aap Idhar Mere Paas Stage Par Aa Jaao”

Pappu Uth Kar Professor Ke Paas Chala Gaya.

Professor: “To Aapka Kahna Hai Ki Aapne Bhoot Ko Chooma Hai, Jara Baat Puri Detail Mein Batao”

Pappu: “Ohh Sorry Sir, Maine Choot Suna Tha“

Daant Mein Keeda

Husband Ghar Aya Aur Aake Bola

Husband: “Aaj Main Doctor Ke Pass Gaya Thha”

Biwi: “To Kya Bola Vo”

Husband: “Bola Ki Mere Daant Mein Keeda Hai”

Biwi: “Ji, Doctor Ne Beemari To Sahi Batayi Hai, Par Lagta Hai Jagha Galat Bata Di Hai“

Lamba Hath

College Mein Pappu Aur Uski Ek Friend Canteen Ke Bahar Bethe Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe

Pappu Ki Friend Ne Ahista Se Pappu Ko Bola

Ladki: “Main Apni Zindagi Mein Koi Lamba Hath Maarna Chahti Hoon”

Pappu Kameene Pan Se Bola: “Tum Sirf Hath Maaro Lamba Khud Hi Ho Jayega“

FADDU JOKE

Must Read
1 Building jo 107 Floor ki thi,
usme
3 dost saath rehte the..
.
.
1 Din Lifit kharab ho gayi, to wo
stairs se uper jane lage
chadhte-
chadhte bor
na ho jaye isliye socha ki
.
1st Friend Kisi Jang(war) Ki Story
Sunaye ga
.
2nd friend Koi Funny Story
aur
.
3rd wala Koi Sad Story
Sunaega . .
.
.
Is Tarha 107th Floor tak Pahuch
Jaayenge
.
1st Ne Jung Ki Story Sunai aur 50
Floor Tak Pohnch Gaye
.
2nd Ne Funny Story Sunai aur wo
99 Floor Par
Ponch Gaye Phir..
.
3rd sad face karke bola :-
yaaro
sadstory ye
ha ki
.
.
apne FLAT ki chabi CAR me hi
reh
gayi hai.........

BSNL

Ek Doctor ne naya clinic khola...

.
Thodi daer baad ek Aadmi aaya..
.
.
Doctor ne apne aap ko busy show karne ke
liye, telephone ka
receiver uthaya aur appointment denay k
andaz me bolne laga..
Fir phone rakne k baad...
.
Doctor Aadmi se:"Haan bataiye kya hua.. ??
.
.
.
Aadmi:" BSNL se aaya hun, telephone activate
karne k liye...

Manglasutra

Baba Saxidas Se Unki Ek Nayi Bani Cheli Ne Puchha

Cheli: “Baba Ji, Ye Manglasutra Ka Kya Use Hai?”

Baba Ji: “Ye License Hai Kamasutra Ko Bina Condom Ke Enjoy Karne Ka”

Cheli: “Wahh Ye To Pata Hi Nahi Thha, Aur Fir Ye Condom Ka Kya Use Hai?”

Baba Ji: “Ye Ek License Hai Kamasutra To Bina Manglasutra Ke Enjoy Karne Ka.“

Chutiya Banaya – Chutiya Banaya

Hamara Dost Anuj Ek Baar Kisi Kaam Se Doosre Shahar Jaa Raha Tha

Raste Mein Peshaab Aaya To Apni Bike Ko Sadak Ke Kinare Rok Kar Ek Ped Ke Niche Peshaab Karne Lag Gaya

Ped Par Ek Bandar Betha Tha, Usne Anuj Ki Nakal Karte Hue Peshaab Karna Shuru Kar Diya Jo Sidha Anuj Ke Upar Aakar Gira

Ye Dekh Kar Anuj Ko Gussa Aa Gaya, Usne Fir Apna Lund Hilana Shuru Kar Diya

Bandar Ne Bhi Dekha Dekhi Nakal Kari Aur Vo Bhi Apni Lulli Pakad Ke Hilaane Laga

Anuj Ne Ye Dekha Aur Mutthi Maarni Shuru Kar Di, Bandar Ne Bhi Uske Samne Muthi Marni Shuru Kar Di

Ab Anuj Ka Gussa Saatve Asmaan Pe Jaa Pahuncha, Usne Jeb Mein Se Blade Nikala Aur Apna Lund Kaat Diya Aur Dekhne Laga Ki Bandar Kya Karta Hai.

Tab Bandar Ped Pe Taaliya Bajane Laga Aur Uchalne Laga Aur Bola: “Chutiya Banaya – Chutiya Banaya“

PAK GAYA

2 Ladies ped k neeche baithi kaafi der se baatein kar rahi thi..
.
.
.
Achanak 1 aam gira!
.
.
Lady:"Yeh January me Aam kese gira..??
.
.
Aam bola:" PAK GAYA TERI BAATE SUN KE..

Baaja Car

Ek Call Girl Ki Ek Friend Thhi Jo Car Showroom Mein Sales Girl Thhi.

Ek Din Vo Usko Milne Gayi To Uski Friend Usko Boli

Sales Girl: “Aaj Agar Car Nahi Biki To Mera Baaja Bajj Jayega”

Call Girl Udas Mood Se Boli: “Aur Agar Aaj Mera Baaja Nahi Baja To Meri Car Bikk Jayegi“

2-2 Or 2 Or 2, Or Do

Ladke Ne Sex Start Kiya To Ladki Bolti Hai.

Ladki: “Jaanu, Bohat Dard Ho Raha Hai”

Ladka: “Koi Baat Nahi Thodi Der Mein Nahi Hoga”

Ladki: “Nahi Jaanu Bohat Ho Raha Hai Nikal Lo Na”

Ladka: “Tum Bas 10 Tak Gino, Main Nikal Lunga.”

Ladki: “1-2-Aa-3-4-5-Uff-6-7-8-Aah-Aa-9-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-2 Or 2 Or 2, Or Do”

Bhonsdi Ke Apni Gaand Mein Rakh Ungli

Ek NRI India Ghumne Aaya Aur Usne Tea-Stall Par Jakar Ek Chai Order Ki.

NRI Ko Ek Chhota Ladka Chai Dene Aaya, Jisne Chai Ke Cup Ko Peene Wale Hisse Se Andar Ki Taraf Se Pakda Hua Tha.

NRI Ne Chai Ka Ek Ghoot Piya Aur Bola: “Tum Log Kab Sudhroge? Chai Is Tarah Nahi Pakadte, Ungli Nahi Doobate Chai Mein”

Ladka: “Sahab Ungli Mein Dard Hai, Dr. Ne Senkne Ke Liye Kaha Tha”

NRI Gusse Se Bola: “Bhonsdi Ke Apni Gaand Mein Rakh Ungli, Wahaan Sabse Jayada Senk Milega”

Ladka: “Sahab Abhi Tak Udhar Hi Thi, Aapke Order Ke Baad Nikalni Padi“

mardana

Ek 90 saal ka buddha rape ke ilzam mai jail gya.....

Jail mai dusre log: aap toh bekasur the toh phir aapne kuch bola q nhi.....

Buddha: are ilzam itna mardana tha ki mana nhi kar paya.....

Sirf 2000

Agar Ksi Ko S.S.C or H.S.C Board K Papers Mein
Pass Krwana Ho To
Mujhe Name or Seat No
Inbox Kr Dena
Ok..?
Sirf 2000 me
.
.
.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
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.
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Main Us K liy Dua Karunga..

Tamatar

Bhikhari: Kuch khaane ko do!

Pandit: Tamatar Khao

Bhikhari: Roti do baba

Pandit: Tamatar Khao

Bhikhari: Tamatar hi khila do

Pandit's Wife: Ye Totla bolte he, Keh rahe he
KAMAKAR KHAO !

sahi faisla

Shadi ki 14th Anniversary par
.
Husband gehri soch me tha.....
Wife ne ye dekha aur pucha - Kya soch rahe
ho?
.
Husband- Yaad hai jab tumhare daddy ne
date pe pakda tha.
aur kaha tha, ya to meri beti se shadi karo
ya 14 saal k liye jail jao
.
Wife muskurate hue :- Haan to ?
.
Husband :- agar sahi faisla Liya hota to aaj
me azaad ho jata..:-D:-P:O

fish hai

Ek bewda hotel me gya aur manager se
bola- fish hai ?
.
Manager- nhi h
Bewda chala gya, thodi der bad fir aaya
.
Bewda- sir ji, fish h.
Manager- bola na tere ko nhi h
Wo fir chala gya
Thodi der baad fir aaya- fish hai
.
manager- sale, akal k andhe agar fir
aaya
na fansi laga dunga kamine.
.
Ab manager ko pakka yakeen tha ki wo
nhi
aayega lekin mushkil se aadha ghanta
hua,
wo fir aaya
.
Bewda- manager , Rassi hai kya ?
Manager- nhi
.
Bewda- ''achha to fish hai......'

baarish

Santa jab bhi kapde dhota,
baarish ho jaati...
Ek din dhoop nikli... Usne
bhagwan ka
shukrya kiya aur dukaan se
surf lene gaya....
Tabhi achanak zor zor se
badal garajney
lagey...
Santa fatafat aasman ki
taraf mooh kar ke
bola...
"kidhar..???
.
.
.
.
mai to biscuit lene aaya
hu...!! :p:O

Panty

Santa Banta Park Mein Sair Kar Rahe
The,

Ek Premi Jode Ko Pyar Karte
Dekh Banta Ne Santa Se Puchha.

Banta: Vasna, Pyar Aur Shadi In
Teenon Mein Kya Antar Hai ?

Santa: "Sirf Panty Ka Antar Hai"

Banta: Wo Kaise ?

Santa: "Vasna Mein Panty Ko Fadte
Hai, Pyar Mein Utarte Hai Aur Shadi
Mein
.
.Dhote Hai"

Muth maar li

Awesome ONe ...

Boy gf ko msg kiya: kal date pe tum mujhe kiss do gi?

Girl: nahi kisi ne dekh liya to?
Boy: koi nahi dekhey ga.. Baroda rakho much per
Girl: Ok de doon gi
Boy: Boobs suck karne do gi?
Girl: ok kar lena
After 20 mints

boy texts: yeh sab ghalat hai... main tumhein
touch bhi nahi karna chahta.......
Girl:
mujhe pata hai tu ne m#tth maar li hai
kuttay;;)
=))
.
hahahahaha

kitne baje hai

2 student raat me padh rhe the..
.
.
.
.
.
1st:"kitne baje hai yaar.. ??
.
.
.
.
.
2nd ne patthar uthakar samne
girls hostel me
mara..
1 ladki nikli boli:"kamino ab to
so jao raat ke 2 baj rahe hai...

Store policy

Pappu:" Mujhe Dog Food lena hai..
.
.
SALES GIRL:" Kya aapke paas Kutta
hai.. ??
.
Pappu:" Haa ghar pe hai..
.
SALES GIRL:" Sorry! Store policy hai
ke zarurat dekh kar item sale karo..
.
NEXT DAY Pappu:" Mujhe Cat Food
lena hai
.
SALES GIRL:" Sorry Sir pehle Billi la
ke dikhao..
.
3 din bad Pappu bag le ke store
aaya aur bola:" Bag me hath dal
kesabot dekh lo..
.
SALES GIRL hath dal ke boli:" Koi
Garam, Geeli aur Mulayum cheez
hai Kya hai.. ??
.
Pappu:" Ye meri Potty hai, aur
mujhe aaj
"TOILET PAPER" lena hai.

CHUDEL

2 Bhoot apas mein Baat karte hai...
.
.
.
.
Kitni Ajeeb Baat hai na, Larke Marne ke baad Bhoot ban jaate hai.,,
Lekin Larkiyan..

CHUDEL ki CHUDEL hi Rehti hai.

juthe

ek shadi shuda aadmi or ek
kuwari ladki ka affair chal raha
tha.....
.
ek din wo date pe gaye...
bahut samay ek dusre k sath
bitaya.....
.
fir aadmi ne ghar jate
waqt apne jute or pant mitti me
ragde....
jab wo ghar gaya tab.....
.
biwi -itni der kaha the tum..?
.
husband -mein tumse kch chupana
ni
chahta hun.
mera aik afair chal raha he or me
date pe gaya tha.
.
.
.
biwi (pant &jute dekh kar)-juthe,
football khel ke aye ho na....?

Ganda wala joke..

Ganda wala joke.....
.
.
Santa ki bv bacche ki potty test krwane gayi.

Dr.-Ye potty nhi Halwa h!

Biwi: 1 phone kr lu?

Dr.- Kyo?

Biwi-Unko batana h k potty unke tiffin me
chali gayi hai

Emergency

Petrol pump se 21 KM door
1 Fauji truck ka petrol khatam
ho gaya

2nd seat par Major beitha tha
Pappu driver ne Major ko bataya k Sir
Petrol pump tak dhakka
lagana parray ga
Sub neechay utray Aur
Dhakka Lagana shuru kia
kaafi dair baad Petrol pump par
pahunch gaye
Kuchh jawan thak k behosh ho gaye
Pappu ne petrol dalwana shuru kia to

Major ne kaha k Peechhy jo drum hai
Us me bhe dalwa Lo

Pappu: Sir, Wo tou full hai
Emergency k liye rakha hua hai.

sabse faadu joke ever

Ek bar ek bf ne gf ko long drive pe
bulaya apni
nayi sports car dikhaane ke liye
.
Ek bet lgi ki jitna fast bf car
chlaayega utni fast
gf apne cloths utaaegi
.
Boy starts the car and reached the
speed of150kmph girl ne apna top faad diya
.
Phit usne 250kmph tak car ki speed
phuncha di
.
Girl ne apne saare kpde faad diye or
itni speed
me raasta nahi dikha or accident ho
gaya aur bf car ke neeche fas jaata
hai.
.
Bf- ja aur khi se help leke aa..
gf- kese me toh puri tarah se nude
hun
bf- ye le mera shoe(joota) or jaa
gf ne apni taango ke bich shoe ko
fsaya or ek
service station pe jake boli
.
Gf- pls help me ...mera bf fas gaya
hai.
.
Service man ne shoe dekha or
behosh ho gaya...

kar do savera

Pappu ki gf Pappu se
.
.
.
Gf:" Jaanu Mujh par shayari banao..
.
Pappu:" In kali-kali Zulfo se karti ho
andhera..
.
..
.
In kali-kali Zulfo se karti ho andhera..
.
.
.
.
Ho jao takli aur kar do savera..

Pappu Rocks - Gf Shock..

Hukkaaa Piyoooo Hukkaaaa'!!!!!!

Ek Minister Pagal Khaneke Daure par tha.

Ek Pagal Bola: Minister Sahib Ek
Cigarette aur Maachis dena.

Minister ne cigarette diya aur Dr. se
bola:
doctor,ye aadmi to achhe se baat
kar raha hai...kahin se pagal
nahilagh raha hai.....

Pagal ne Cigarette Tod ke Tobacco
Apne Sir par dala
aur Machis se Aag laga di.....Phir
Apni Dhoti Utha ke, L**d Hila ke
bola:
Lo Minister Sahib, Hukkaaa Piyoooo
Hukkaaaa'!!!!!!

Solid Baat

Ek bahut bade aadmi ne kaha hai ki.......
.
.
.
Us ladki par bhadosa mat karo...
.
.
.
.
Jiska facebook pa srif ek hi profile pic hai. ....

SAVITA BHABHI

Duniya ka sabse badnasib pati kuon hai....
.
.
.
.
.
.
Jiska patni ka naam SAVITA hai.

Arz kiya he

Arz kiya he
Kya hua tha raat
me
kaise mar gaya
Tony
.
wah wah
.
Gaur farmayga
Kya hua tha raat
me
kaise mar gaya
Tony
.
wah wah
.
Janne k Liye
dekhiye CID,
only on Sony ..

mein Prostitute hu

Ladka ladki ko pataa ke car me
jungle le gaya.

Ladke ne sex shuru kiya to ladki
boli: "Mein bataana bhool gayi ki
mein Prostitute hu aur ek baar ke
500 leti hu."

Ladke ne majburi me paise diye fir
Start ho gaya.
Karne ke baad ladka cigarette
peene laga.
.
Ladki: "Chalo, waapas nahi jaana
kya?"

Ladka: "Mein bataana bhool gaya
tha ki mein Taxi Driver hu aur
yaha se shahar ke 800 leta hu."

Andar Garmi thi iss liye baahar baithi hoon.;

Aik Aurat adhi raat ko kabristaan ki
ek kabar pe baithi thi
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ek musafir ne usse dekha aur poocha :"Darr
nhi lagta tumhe jo yahan aakar baithi ho ???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aurat :"Lo isme Darne ki kya baat hai
.
.
.
.
Andar Garmi thi iss liye
baahar baithi hoon.;):D

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