1. What is the difference between medium and rare?
A. 6 inches is medium, 9 inches is rare
2. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?
A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.
3. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common?
A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.
4. What is the definition of a menstrual period?
A. A bloody waste of fucking time.
5. Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat?
A. They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.
6. What is the first sign of AIDS?
A. A pounding sensation in the ass.
7. What do women and police cars have in common?
A. They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.
8. What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A. Whores fuck everyone at the party, Bitches fuck everyone at the party except you.
9. What do you call it when a 90 year old man masturbates successfully?
A. Miracle whip.
10. What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A. They can both smell it, but can't eat it.
11. What is the lightest thing in the world?
A. A penis...even a thought can raise it.
12. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife...
A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.
13. What is the difference between "Oooh!" and "Aaah!"?
A. About two inches.
14. What's the difference between sin and shame?
A. It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
15. What's the best thing about a blow job?
A. Ten minutes of silence!
16. What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?
A. Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator, goes to bed.
Married man comes home, sees what's in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.
17. How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A. One of his fingers is clean.
A. 6 inches is medium, 9 inches is rare
2. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?
A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.
3. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common?
A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.
4. What is the definition of a menstrual period?
A. A bloody waste of fucking time.
5. Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat?
A. They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.
6. What is the first sign of AIDS?
A. A pounding sensation in the ass.
7. What do women and police cars have in common?
A. They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.
8. What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A. Whores fuck everyone at the party, Bitches fuck everyone at the party except you.
9. What do you call it when a 90 year old man masturbates successfully?
A. Miracle whip.
10. What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A. They can both smell it, but can't eat it.
11. What is the lightest thing in the world?
A. A penis...even a thought can raise it.
12. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife...
A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.
13. What is the difference between "Oooh!" and "Aaah!"?
A. About two inches.
14. What's the difference between sin and shame?
A. It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
15. What's the best thing about a blow job?
A. Ten minutes of silence!
16. What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?
A. Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator, goes to bed.
Married man comes home, sees what's in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.
17. How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A. One of his fingers is clean.
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