Top 10 XXX films

Recently Indian 10,
hindi films ko Oscar awards mile hai wo ye hai..... 

1,Haseena Ki Gaand me Paseena. 

2,Aao khele Hath me pakad ke Muhh me lele aur Chooth me Pele.

3,Lanhege me dhoom dhaam after Sex use Zandu Balm. 

4,Bhaag Bhonsdike Randi Chodke. 

5,Pati Fouj me toh Biwi Mouj me.

6,Chodna hai tujhe Rath Barabar,,
Lund na khada hoy Jhant Barabar.

7,Hijre ki Kamai Mooch Mundwai.

8,Mar Gaandu Mooth Kaske,,
Tel nikle andar se fas fas ke.

9,Baap Bhienchod, Beta Beti Chod,
aur uski Maa Madarchod.

10,Poori Picture hai srf 6-se-8 ka,,
Govinda ko Karz chukana hai Ek-Ek Jhaant ka

Set Hone Se Chudne Tak 16 Nakhre

16 Saal Ki Ladki Ke Set Hone Se Chudne Tak 16 Nakhre:
1. Tumne Suna Nahi, Mera Peecha Mat Karo
2. Main Koi Aisi Vesi Nahi Ek Sharif Ladki Hoon
3. Bas Ek Baar Hi I Love You Bolungi
4. Thik Hai Par Sirf Ek Baar Hi Milungi
5. Main Aa To Gayi, Par Kuch Karna Nahi
6. Yaar Sharam Kar Lo, Koi Dekh Lega
7. Bus Uper Uper Se Kar Lo Jo Karna Hai
8. Oye Please Yaar Jeans To Mat Utaro
9. O.K. Udaas Mat Hovo Kar Lo. Bus Ek Baar Hi Karungi
10. Yaar Light Band Kar Do Badi Sharam Aa Rahi Hai
11. Ye To Bahut Lamba Hai, Ander Hi Nahi Jayega
12. Suna Hai Pahli Baar Karne Pe Bada Dard Hota Hai
13. Please Aram Aram Se Karna Zor Se Mat Dalna
14. Ooi Maaa, Bohat Dard Ho Raha Hai Plz Bahar Nikalo
15. Aah Aah Oooh, Please Thoda Sa Aur Ander

Rajnikanth joke

This is a killer......
....
Ram aur Raavan Bada serious yudh kar rahe the.

Tabhi Raavan ne Ram ke peechay kisi ko khada dekha.
Raavan: chal yar bye.

Ram: kya hua?

Raavan : Nahi yaar bas bye, Le sita ko Leja .

Ram: Arre hua kya, Ruk to sahi .

Ravan: Nahi yaar achha I am sorry o.k.

Ram: Dost nahi hai...Bata to sahi hua kya???

Ravan: Kuch nahi bhai baat hi khatam,
no tension+no fikar, maje-maje.

Ram: Nahi pehle bata pleeeeeeez,tuje -meri kasam,
kya hua???

Ravaan: Bas rehne d yaar,
itni si baat pe tune
Rajnikanth ko bula liya......:/! .P :P

aaj-kal ki girlfriend kehti hai, Daal Chutiye ghabra mat

For all fuckd up aashiqss.......
Arz kiya hai: 
Jis din un se dil laga bethe, Tanhai me sukun ki maa chuda bethe,
 Wo to so gyi bhenchod kisi or k bistarpe or hum apni hi jhato me aag laga bethe !
 Pyar karna hai to nirma powder waali se karo.. 
Pyar karna hai to nirma powder waali se karo..
 Kyu ki wo kehti hai Pehle istemal karo phir vishwash karo ! 

True luv is when a Boy asks d girl 4 a kiss 
& Girl simply closes her eyes & allows d boy to kiss on her lips,
 But d boy kisses on d forehead & says I hv a whole life 2 Do dat.. 

Bhai log, Yeh sab Chutiyapa hai. Jidhar bhi mauka mile mission poora kardena. 
Just remember 'The 1 who hesitates..... Later masturbates'.....

issued in public interest Kisi buzurg MaDaRcHoD ne sahi kaha hai Ladki 
ko Lavde pe bithao to tumse dil laga legi Aur agar Ladki ko dil me 
bithao to woh tumhare Lavde laga degi.. Waqt kehta hai mujhe gawa mat,
 Dil kehta hai mujhe laga mat, Pyar kehta hai mujhe aazma mat,
 Aur aaj-kal ki girlfriend kehti hai, Daal Chutiye ghabra mat

Facts ki Maa ki Choot

STRANGE FACTS

1. Roti ka 1 niwala 7sec k baad pet me pahuchta hai.

2. Insani baal 3kg tak wazan utha sakta hai

3. Har mard k Lund ki lambaai uske hath k anguthe se double hoti hai.

4. Aurte mardo se zyada palke jhapkati hain.

5. Aur Tera Dhyan abhi tak anguthe pe hi h.

Naap le Bhai
Pehle tu lund hi naap le Facts ki Maa ki Choot

ƒashiØn Ka Zamana Hai

ƒashiØn Ka Zamana Hai
.
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Ek Ladki Ke T-Shirt Pe Likha Tha
Amul – The Taste Of India.
.
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Use Dekh Kar Pappu Boht Khush
Hua,
.
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Aur Apni Jean Pr Likhva Liya
Kürkure –: Tedha Hai Pr Mera
Hai. :D =)) :p

A Girl Raised hand and questioned smartly

In a class of MBBS:
Professor: Sperms are made of glucose, same material as sugar is made of.
A Girl Raised hand and questioned smartly: Then why don't it taste like sugar?
realizing what she asked, she left the class without looking up, as she heard the whole class laughing because the professor's reply was a master piece in medical history:
My Dear, It is Because taste buds are located on the tip of your tongue, not in back of your throat!

Ye Jhoot hai k Mohabbat kisi ko Barbaad karti hai!

Ye Jhoot hai k Mohabbat kisi ko Barbaad karti hai!

"Dost"

Log Khud Mohabbat ki Gand Mein Ghustay Hain muft ki Chudaai k Chakkar Mein.

\('',)/''wah
 \  / wah
_/ \_ wah

Agar Glass se hi Pilana tha to Hema Malini Ko le lete..

Director 2 Sunny Leon-Suhagrat ka scene hai,Dudh ka glass le k jana h aur hero ko pilana hai.

Sunny L:-Agar Glass se hi Pilana tha to Hema Malini Ko le lete..

Gand phati hai, to suna tha..Par udharti bhi hai

Santa ne raat karele ki sabzi khai. karele par dhaga lpetkar banya tha.
 dhaga kholna bhool gya or Santa karele kha gya..
Subah potty karne gya to gand dhote hue hath me dhaga aa gya..
or Santa dhaga khichne laga..or bola..Gand phati hai,
 to suna tha..Par udharti bhi hai, pheli bar dekha hai..

bas kar saale ab rulayega kya

1st Friend to 2nd Friend:
.
1st:" kya tum kabhi bhi mujhe chhod kar jaoge.. ??
.
.2nd:"pagal ho gaya kya be mai kabhi nahi jaunga..:)
.
.
1st:" agar tujhe mujhe ya teri girl
friend ko select karna hua to kisko
karega.. ??
.
.
.
2nd:" abe tujhe hi karunga kaminey,

girl friend to saali aati jaati rahegi..:p

.
.
tere jaisa dost jayega to wapas nahi aayega..
.
.
1st:" bas kar saale ab rulayega kya... :p :D :O :D

I want 2 help Priya

In School teacher asks students,

what do u wish 2 do in future?

Suresh: I want 2 b a pilot.
Mahesh: I want 2 b a doctor.

Priya: I want 2 b a good mother.

Pappu: I want 2 help Priya…. xD :O
heheheheheh

Ohh Teri UNDERTAKER aa gaya

Ek baar Pappu church gaya..
.
.
.
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Achanak light chali gayi aur andhera ho gaya...

Tabhi church ka ghanta baja
"TONNN"
.
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.
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.
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Pappu chillaya:"Ohh Teri UNDERTAKER aa gaya:p :O :D

Modern Insult..

Modern Insult..
.
.
Boy to Girl: I love you and want to
marry you
.
.
.
.
.
.
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Girl:"Apni shakal dekhi hai
.
.
.
.
.
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Boy:"Dekhi hai tabhi to tere paas aaya hoon
warna katrina kaif ke
paas jaata...:p :O :D

lauda-lasun, choot, tatti, randi wale sms

Sachhe dost ki 3 nishaniyan
.
.
.
Ek to bhosidka kabhi phone nai karega..
.
.
Dusra har kaam k liye haan bolega lekin bhenchod ek din ka kaam dus din mein bhi nai karega..
.
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Aur teesra ladkiyon ko senti wale sms bhejega aur humein hamesha lauda-lasun, choot, tatti, randi wale sms karega..!!

This Is For Todays Conditions Of India.....

Dear Government, 

Better you start promoting Female Foeticide in Country.

A Girl not born is better than a girl born and then raped.

Sincerely
Indian

That awkward moment

That awkward moment
.
.
.
.
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When u got a missed call From an unknown number And when u call back U heard a voice of ur frnds:
"Tharki saale, ladki samaj kcall back kar liya sudhar ja
kamine :D :p:-D"

Punishment for Rape:

Punishment for Rape:

1) UAE- Instant Death Penalty within 7 days hanging
2) Iran- Instant Stoned to death/hanging with 24 hrs
3) Afghanistan - Instant death by bullet on head within 4 days
4) China - No Trial, Medical proved rape then Death Penalty
5) Malaysia - Death Penalty
6) Mangolia - Death as revenge by family
7) Iraq - Death by stone till last breath Taliban - Limbs/ Legs/ Balls All Cut Off, 
              &then stoned&then shot
9) Poland - Death thrown to Pigs
10) INDIA -Compromise, Thinking, Trial, Bribe of 2 laks, Rich family Kid, Abuse
                & Embarrass ment NO ACTION..
                   Even d girl dies still no charge sheet filed.. country gets in
                  protest still the PM speaks in english...
                  look at all these countries and learn something.

11 Sex Tips For Happy sex Life:

11 Sex Tips For Happy sex Life:
1. Air-Condition Ur Room Properly.
2. Spray Romantic Perfume,
3. Avoid Noises,
4. Use Quality Condoms,
5. Start Slowly With Gentle Kisses,
6. Always Prefer Wet Sex to Reduce Pain,
7. Have Sex For At Least Two Hours,
8. Fresh Up Ur Mouth Before Lip Kissing,
9. Switch On Some Romantic Music,
10. Have Sex Regularly For Healthy Living And
11. Then Return Home On Time..

.... Nahi to biwi gand Fad Degi

you know Why LADIES FIRST

2 Lovers Ne Suicide Ki Planing Ki
.
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Boy Jumped 1st, Girl Close Her Eyes & Returnd
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Boy In Air Opened Parashute& Said Muje Pata Tha Chudel Tu Nahi Kudegi
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From that day onwards people started saying LADIES FIRST...:p :O =D

Pata tujhe Laude ka nahi hai or Batein tu economy ki

Aeroplane me ek aadmi aur ek bachha sath baithe theiy.

Aadmi:- Kuchh baat kare , time paas ho jayega

Boy:-Kis topic par??

Aadmi= desh ki economy per

Boy: Theek hai, magar pehle mere ek sawal ka jawab do ki jab Bakra, Bhaisa aur Gadha, teeno ghaas khate hain, phir Bakre ka Lauda itna chhota, Bhaise ka itna patla aur Gadhe ka itna lamba kyon hota hai??

Aadmi:- what nonsense,mujhe nahi pta

Boy: Pata tujhe Laude ka nahi hai or Batein tu economy ki chod raha hai....!!!

Akhil Bhartiya Ladki Patao abhiyan

Boy:" Meri Gf banogi.. ??
.
.
Gal:" Mere parents allow nai karte..
.
.
Boy:" Haan kamini jaise mere
baap ne to
mujhe
"Akhil Bhartiya Ladki Patao
abhiyan Ka
Chairman Bana Rakha
Hai.. ?? .:/ :p :D :O :D

If I catch u, I will fuck u..

Fat man saw an ad: 
"lose 5kg in a week" in a newsppr. 

He calls the company & lady says be ready tmrw at 6am.

The next morning he opens the door & finds a hot babe with just shoes, undergarments & shirt saying:
"u catch me u fuck me!" & the girl starts running.

He starts running but doesn't catch her. During the whole week he tried to catch her but couldn't.
However he loses 5 kg.

He then asks for the 10kg program.
Next morning at 6 he opens the door and sees an even hotter babe in shoes, thong & a shirt saying:
"u catch me u fuck me".

He loses 10 kg that week.

So he thought this program is awesome!
Lets try the 25 kg!
So he asked for the 25 kg but the lady said "R u sure?
its really tough".
he said "YES!"
Next day at 6 he opens the door, he finds a negro gay in just underwear saying..
"If I catch u, I will fuck u.."

अमा मियाँ बाकि के पैसे तो लेते जाओ।

निकाह के बाद दूल्हा मौलवी साहब से बोला, "

मौलवी साहब आपकी फीस?"

मौलवी: जनाब बेगम की ख़ूबसूरती के मुताबिक दे दो।
मौलवी की बात सुन कर दूल्हे ने अपनी जेब में हाथ
डाला और चुपचाप दस रूपए का नोट मौलवी साहब के हाथ
में थमा कर उठ कर जाने लगा।

तभी अचानक हवा से दुल्हन का घूँघट उठ गया।

मौलवी: अमा मियाँ बाकि के पैसे तो लेते जाओ।
Hahaha.......