Naqal

Ek Cinema hall me TITANIC lagi thi
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Romntic scene aya to 1 BachaChilaya-
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Mom Dad,
Dekhiye wo log apki Naqal kar rahe h:) ;p 

BIWI

Psychology ka practical ho ra tha.
Profesr ne chuhe k liye ek tarf CAKE or
dusri tarf CHUHIYA rak di.
Chuha fouran Cake ki tarf lapka
Dusri baar Cake ko badal kr ROTI raki.
Chuha Roti ki tarf lapka
Is tarah kai baar food-item badle mgr chuha
har bar food ki tarf bhaga.
Profesr: Bas, sabit ho gya ki Hunger is bigger
than girl.
Itne me last row ki bench s baba Ranchor
das: Sir, bar chuhiya badal ke bhi dekh lo,
ho skta h wo usk i "BIWI" ho....

Ladkiyon Ka Kameenapan...

Ladkiyon Ka Kameenapan...
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Ek Khubsurat Ladki ne Ghar ka
Kuch Saamaan Apne Gali Ke Ladke
Se Mangwaya...
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Ladka jab Saman Lene Gaya to
Rs30 kam Pad gae Toh
usne Apne Pass se De Diye..
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Ghar laut Ke Ladka Bola Rs30 kam
the maine De diye..
Ladki ye Sunke Boli:" I LOVE YOU
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Ladka:" Kamini Zyada Chalaki Na
Dikha Chal Rs 30 Nikaal...   

Hahaha Boy Rock... Girl Popat

Arz KiyaHai.


Presenting khatarnak shayari again....
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Arz KiyaHai..
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Jo Kehti Thi Tujhe DiL Me LocK Kar Diya
Jo Kehti Thi Tujhe DiL Me LocK Kar Diya
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Aaj usi Ne Facebook Pe BLocK Kar
Diya..  

Wild Life Photography

ek din santa apni biwi ki
dher sari photo le rha
tha . . .
Biwi : Ek Dum Khush
Hoke:
"Kya Baat Hai Jee ?
Aaj To Meri Photo-Pe-
Photo kheenche Ja Rahe
Ho???" .
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Santa: Kuchh Nahi Pagli,
Aaj Mere Sarr pe Wild
Life Photography
ka Bhoot Sawaar
hai. . .   \\M//
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MALE LOGIC Vs FEMALE INTENT....

MALE LOGIC Vs FEMALE INTENT....

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me, buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."

(I'm sure you're going back to read this again!!) dj

Munni badnam

Morning joke 
Faadu..
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Munni nahaney gayi kapre utari
darwaza baja..
Munni:" KAUN ??
..
Jawab aaya:" POSTMAN Kapre pehen k letter
leya phir nahane gayi kapre utari
darwaza baja
boli:" KAUN ??
..
Jawab aaya:" DHOBI Kapre pehen k dhobi se
hisab kiya..
Phir nahane gayi
kapre utari darwaza baja
Munni phir boli:" KAUN ??
..
Jawab aaya:" Papu padosan ka beta jo ANDHA
hai
..
Munni ne socha kya farq padta hai hain agar
kapre nahi pehni aise hi chaligayi darwaza
khola..
..
Papu ne mitaai di MUNNI:" kis khushi mein
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Papu:" meri Aankhain theek ho gayi hain
..
AB PATA CHALA Munni KAISE badnam
huyi... ??   

GAALI

Jab b dost achi baat kahenge GAALI zarun denge:
1. Beautiful girl Oye ma ki lodi kya maal hai.
2. Cricket mein Iski maa ka choda mara kya chakka mara hai.
3. Dost aaye to Aa gaya chutiyaa.
4. Ladki na pate to Bhen ki lodi r#ndi hai.
5. Exam pass hone par Bhosdi k tu tu pass ho gaya.
6. Ghar jana ho to Ghar jana hai nai to Baap G#nd maar dega.
7. Koi sidha sadha aadmi dikhe to Chodu hai l#da dj

Aap Chutiye hain...

Agar Aap Antarctica ke baraf main Thumbs Up ka bottle thanda karne ko 'Toofani Karna' kehte hai, to Global Warming ki kasam Aap Chutiye hain.
Agar aap Masturbation ko waste of sperm ya baal hatya maante hai, toh kasam Vicky Donor ki Aap Chutiye hain...
-dj-

0pen c0nd0m style

faadu bacche dur rahe...xD

Bacha Sar Pe Condom chadha k
Ghoom rha tha!
Baap: Ye Sar Pe kia Chadhaya hy?
Bacha, style se:
Baba..! School Me Fancy Dress
Competition Hy,
Koi Sher Banega
Koi Ghora Banega,
Aap ka Beta Lauda Bnega..
Sab ki maa chod de gaa...
0pen c0nd0m style..! xD

Relationship ka postmortem:-P

Relationship ka postmortem:-P
MUST READ..:D:P
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Girl-"us ladki ko delete kr do..wo achchi

ni hai
boy-"ok . kui baat ni .. kr de ra hu..mere
liye tum jyada importnt ho . .
..
Girl-"tum us ladki se baat matkiya kro..
mujhe achcha ni lagta
boy-"okay..main-fir kabhi usse baat ni
karunga"
..
Girl-"tum us ladki sath ghumne mat jaya
kro.."
boy-"alright . .main uske sathab kahi ni
jaunga ..tum tensn mat lo"
..
girl-"ab tum dusri ladkiyon se baatmt
kiya kro jo flirting krti rehti hai..smjhe"
Boy-"i m not baby.. main ab aisi ladkiyo se
baat b ni karta".
..
Boy:"us ladke ko delete kr do. .wo achcha
ni hai .
Girl: But main use kaafi tym se
jaanti hu. .aisa ni ho sakta..
..
Boy:"tum us ladke se baat mat kiya kro ..
mujhe achcha ni lagta
Girl: lekin hum sirf freinds hai.. or kuchh
ni .. tum bs shak karte rehte ho
..
Boy:"tum us ladke sath ghumne mat jaya
kro.."
Girl: lekin mere jyada dost b to nahi hai
na ..
tumhe pata hai na main jyadaghumne ni
jaati ...
..
Boy:"ab tum dusri ladko se baat mt kiya
kro jo flirting krte rehte hai"
Girl: They're not flirting with me, they're
just being
friendly. . .tum aisa kaise soch sakte ho.. Dj

kitno ko marega

Shikaar k liye ek shikaari jungle me ghoom raha tha,
Usko koi shikaar nhi mila to shikaari time paas krne k liye muthh marne laga...
Ye sb kuch ek Sher ne dekh liya...
Sher apne ghar ko bhaga or sbhi janwaro ko ikathha kiya or bola...
Sher:-Jis jis ko apni jaan pyari hai wo yahan se bhaag jaye,
Jungle me bahot bada shikaari aaya hai..
. Lomdi:-jungle me to roz shikaari aate hai...?
Sher:-Arri befkoof usne apni Gun 80-90 baar lod ki hai,
Pata nahi wo ek baar me kitno ko marega...?

Jo Ladki K Chakkr Mein Pada, Wo Kutte Ki Maut Mara

Shootout at wadala, Jannat, Murder, Gangster, Awarapan, Fanaa & Titanic..♥♥ 

Moral Of These Blockbuster Films.. :$ 

" Jo Ladki K Chakkr Mein Pada, Wo Kutte Ki Maut Mara " X_X dj

Raja Bhi Gandu

Ek bar ek udas Bandar marne ko gaya.
To jate jate usne sote hue Sher ki Gand me ungli dal di.
Sher utha aur gusse se dahada:- "kisne kiya ye.. ? Kisne apni maut bulayi hai.?
Bandar bola:- "Me hu maharaaj.!
Sher ne pucha:- "ye krte hue tumhe kisine dekha.?
Bandar:- "Nhi, Maharaj.
Sher :-ok, To ek bar aur karo aacha lagta hai.
Moral:- Akele Reh-Reh Kar Jungle Ka Raja Bhi Gandu Ho Jaata Hai,
So Keep In Touch With Friends dj

Biological Anxiety Relief


his one for u all guys
If u feel overloaded with Work…

Immediately go to the nearest

"Biological Anxiety Relief" (BAR) center & place order for any one or more of the following Antidotes:

1: Work Isolating Neutralizing Extract (WINE)

2: Radioactive Un-work Medicine (RUM)

3: Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER)

4: Vaccino Officio Depression Killing Antigen (VODKA).

This is issued in public interest by "Buddies for Eradication of Work Disease Association (BEWDA) =))

Feel the difference.....

Two Girls face to face:

1st: hi sweetheart 

2nd: hi, love u 

And when they talk on their backs about them.
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1st: she is so selfish (matlabi) 
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2nd: she is kamini
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Two Boys face to face:
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1st: kaisa hai kamenay? lal shirt ma tu pura chu lag raha hai...!!
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2nd: apne baap se mazakk :@?
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And when they talk on their backs.
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1st: Mast banda hai yaar...
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2nd: bhai hai apna...
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Feel the difference.....!! Dj

GAAND

Ek baar class main inspection hoti
hain..
Headmaster sahib aate hain...
Sawaal karna shuru!
Headmaster: "Bachoo Hamari body
ka sabse naram part konsa hain"?
Jab koi jawab nahin deta to master
Tinku ki taraf ishara karte hue -
Headmaster: "Tinku tum is ka jawab
do"!!
Tinku: "Master ji hamari body ka
sabse naram part hain GAAND, kyon
ki, agar hame thand (cold) lag gaye
hum kehte hain 'GAAND Phat gayi',
Garmi lag jaya hum kehte hain
'GAAND phat gayi',
thoda chalna pad jaye 'GAAND phat
gayi',
Rona aa jaye 'GAAND phat gayi',
Homework karana ho'GAAND phat
gayi'...
Headmaster ko gussa to aata hain
lekin tinku ka jawaab bhi sahi hain
to woh kuch nahin kehta....
Phir sawaal...karta hain...
Headmaster: "acha aab ye batao ke,
Ladki ki jab shaadi ho jaati hain to
woh Doli ke time roti kyon hain" Phir
koi
jawaab nahin deta.....
Master phir Tinku ko jawaab dene ko
kehta hain.
Tinku: " Master ji aap itne bade
master, gyani or Samajhdar AGAR
AAPKI KOI
400KM GHAR SE DOOOOOR LE JAA
KAR GAAND MAREGA TO AAPKO
RONA
NAHIN AAYEGA?
Master ji ko phir bhut gussa aata
hain lekin tinku ka jawaab bhi thik
hain...isleye woh use kuch nahin
kehta.
Master phir sawaal karata hain...
Headmaster: "Acha bachoo agar
main aapko tisri aankh lagane ki
shakti doon to tum kahan lagwaoge"
Koi bacha kehta hain sir pe,
koi kehta hain mooh main,
koi kehta hain pet main,
Koi kehta hain kaan pe...
Master ko koi bhi answer acha nahin
lagta hain to woh Tinku ko phir
khada karta hain...
Tinku: " Master ji main tisri aankh
haat ki badi wali ungli main
lagawaoonga"
Headmaster: " Kyon Tinku"
Tinku: " Main usko aapki GAAND
main dalke ye dekhoonga ke aisa
kaun sa kida aapki GAAND main
Bhatak raha hain jo Salla har Sawaal
mujhe hi se pooch raha hai,,,,, dj

The best joke till now!! dare not miss it!

The best joke till now!! dare not miss it!

girl nd mere k bich ka convo.
girl: hiee

me:hello

girl: howz you?

me: im fine
(kamini ko zarur koi kaam hoga)

girl: koi gf hai??
(kaise din aaye bhikhari se bhikh mangni
pad rahi h)

me: nahi
(kalmuhi ko aisa to kya kaam aa gya pakka
page
share karne ko bolegi )

girl: hmm mera ek kaam kar doge plz plz
(sala lattu ho gya lagta h mujhpe )

me: haan bolo try karunga

girl: mera page share kardo na plz plz...
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no reply

girl: you there??
(sala kaha mar gya )
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no reply

girl: me tumhe apna phn no dungi share
kar do naa..
(ek baar share ho gya phir ghanta phn no. )

me: ohh ek kaam kardo me tumhe apna
no. deta
hu uspe apne
page ki link send kar dena
(le mujse se panga :p)
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girl no reply

hahaha
$w33t po!$on rocks
Girl shocks xD

Note : Upar ki post ke sabhi patra kalpanik
NAHI
hai..yeh sachi ghatna pe adharit h.
Dj

Agneepath

Boobs ho bade bade,
Bra me ho khade khade,
Bar bar choos kar,
Khoob inko tu masal,
Par daant se tu kaat mat,
Kaat mat,
Agneepath
Agneepath
Agneepath
Tu na thakega kabhi
Tu na rukega kabhi,
Roz 3 bar chodne ki,
Le Shapath
Le Shapath
Agneepath
Agneepath
Agneepath,
Choot to mahaan hai,
ispe sab kurbaan hai,
Sab k basate isme praan hain,
Bana kr is choot ko Bhagwaan b hairaan hai,
Apne Virya se kar de isko,
Lathpath
Lathpath
Agneepath
Agneepath
Agneepath.. D

Killer shayari..

Killer shayari..
Unke gum me humne pi li sharab
Bhai unke gum me Humne pi li
sharab.
Fir Jo Hui tabiyat khrab,
De tatti,
De peshab.
De tatti
De peshab...:.

indian

Whats The Difference Between Foreigner And
Indian After Two Pegs Of Whiskey?
Foreigner Says: “ Good Night Sweet Dreams ”
Indian Says: “ Bhai Ab Batao Kiski Maan Chodni
Hai “

Chut Kaisi Dikhti Hai

Pappu Se Uski Girlfriend Ne Masti Ke Mood Mein
Puchha.
Ladki: “ Sex Ke Pehle Chut Kaisi Dikhti Hai? ”
Pappu: “ Jaise Gulaab ”
Ladki: “ Aur Sex Ke Baad? ”
Pappu: “ Sardar Ji Ke Muh Ki Tarha Jisne Thodi
Der Pehle Lassi Pi Ho “

chodu kutta

Ek Bar Ek Kisaan Apni Kutti Se Pareshan Tha,
Uski Kutti Bache Nahi De Rahi Thi
Kisaan Bechara Tang Aa Kar Bazaar Gaya.
Kutte Ki Dukan Pe Gaya Aur Bola: “ Mujhse Sabse
Jyada Aur Tez Chodu Kutta Chahiye ”
Dukandar Ne Use Sabse Mast Chodu Kutta De
Diya.
Kisaan Khushi Khushi Apne Ghar Aya Aur Kutte
Ko Kutti Ke Sath Chod Diya
Kisaan Ne Kutte Se Kaha: “ Dekh Bete Hume Koi
Jaldi Nahi Hai Tu Araam Se Apna Kaam Karna. ”
Par Kutte Ne Ander Guste Hi Kutti Ki Chudai
Shuru Kar Di
Kisaan Bada Khush Hua Dekh Kar. Dekhte Dekhte
Usne Kutti Ko 2 Baar Chod Diya.
Fir Usne Gaayo Ki Chudai Shuru Kari. Saari Gaye
Bhi Chod Di
Kisaan Ne Fir Kaha: “ Bete Araam Kar Le. Koi
Jaldi Nahi Hai. Tei Tabiyat Kharaab Ho Jayegi ”
Kutta Fir Bhi Nahi Ruka Bhanis, Bakri, Suwar,
Batakh Sab Ki Chudai Karte Karte Raat Ho Gayi.
Agle Din Subah Kisaan Utha To Usne Dekha,
Kutta Ground Mein Chaaro Taang Uper Karke
Pada Hua Thha
Uski Aankhein Bahar Aa Gayi Thhi Aur Jeebh
Ladki Hui Thhi. Aur Ek Cheel Upar Madra Rahi
Hai.
Kisaan Uske Paas Jaakar Bola: “ Maine Kaha Tha
Na Bete Control Kar. Meri Baat Maan Li Hoti To
Aisa Nahi Hota. Jaan Gawani Pad Gayi Na ”
Itne Mein Kutta Bola: “ Shhhhhhhhh… Bhosndi
Ke Door HoJa, Cheel Najdeek Aa Rahi Hai, Usko
Bhi Chodna Hai “

Sab Se Zyada Dard

Teacher Ne Class Mein Student Se Puchha.
Teacher: “ Batao Bachon Sab Se Zyada Dard Kab
Hota Hai? ”
Ek Ladki Uthi Aur Boli.
Ladki: “ Ji Mam, Delivery Ke Waqt ”
Piche Se Pappu Khada Hua Aur Huste Hue Bola.
Pappu: “ Mam, Isse Kuch Nahi Pata, Issne Kabi
Tatton Pe Laat Nahi Khayi Hai “

Facebook pe daal

A boy was busy doing some important
work in office...
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His gf called up...
Gf:" Did I disturb u..??
Reply was so amazing..
Boy:" Ya.. but whats life without
being disturbed by the right person..
GF:" Acha hai ! Facebook pe daal..
°°dj°°

mujhe tumse Mohabbat Haii

Boy:
Agar main kahoon mujhe tumse Mohabbat Haii
Aur meri bus yahii chahat Haii
To kya karogii ??? Girl: main tumse kahungii, is baat ko tum

Kahin khana khilake kehtey,
Zara mobile balance dalwa k kehtey,
mujhe shopping krwa k kehte
To accha hotaaa ha ha ha boys thoko like

Ind/west indies

2 ladies on delivery case..

Ind/west indies

.

Nurse to Ind: beta hua h lulli 5 inch ki h
.
nurse to west indies: L*ND hua h beta 5 inch ka hai. xD xD

BANIYA COLLECTION

BANIYA COLLECTION* 1. Baniya: Yeh banana kaise diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Baniya : 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chhilka milega.
Baniya : Le 40 paise, chilka rakh aur kela de de. 

2. Baniya on his deathbed.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife: Yes, I'm here
My sons daughters r u all here?
Yes, Papa
Baniya: To phir bahar wale kamre ka pankha kyun chal raha hai ???

3. Baniya 14th floor se neeche gira
Girte waqt usne
apne ghar ki khidki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla ke bola:
MERI ROTI NAHIN PAKANA!

4. Baniya ne Sheikh ko khoon de ke uski jaan bachai.
Sheikh ne use MERCEDES gift kar di.
Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zaroorat padi,
Baniya ne phir khoon diya.
Ab ki baar Sheikh ne till wale laddu gift kiye,
Baniya : (Gusse se): Mercedes kyun nahin di? Sheikh: Munna!!! Ab hamare andar bhi Baniya ka
khoon daud raha hai:)

5. Baniya called a newspaper office and asked: Mera
Chacha mar gaya hai,
obituary ke kya
charges honge?
Newspaper: Rs.50 per word.
Baniya : Oh bahut zyaada hain, Achha likho "Chacha Guzar Gaye"
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Baniya : Oh ho! Zara sochne do..... Achha
likho....... ......... .
Chacha Guzar Gaye - Maruti for Sale ..

6. Baniya asks a Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware
jayega kya?
Taxi Driver: Haan ji jaoonga.
Baniya ne jeb se lunchbox nikala or kaha:
Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.

7. Baniya ko bhoot chadh gaya ,
3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha ke paas gaya aur
bola,
Ojha sahab mujhe bahar nikalo..! Warna main to
bhookha hi mar jaoonga

8. Titanic Ke Saath Baniya Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Rahva Tha
Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Baniya: Shukar Hai Maine Return Ticket Nahin
Khareeda.

Yahi Thee, Yahi Thee

Santa Banta Ek Ladki Ka Rape Karte Hue Pakde
Jaate Hai.
Police Unko Identification Parade Ke Liye Bulati
Hai
Jaisi Hi Ladki Unki Identification Karne Ke Liye
Kamre Mein Aati Hai
Dono Zor Se Chila Ke Bolte Hai: “ Yahi Thee, Yahi
Thee “

Ye Choot Kya Hoti Hai

Kisi Budhe Shayar Se Ek NaujawanLadke Ne
Puchha
Ladka: “ Ustaad Ji, Ye Choot Kya Hoti Hai?”
Shayar: “ Choot Is A Maal Nothing But Kamaal
Andar Se Laal Surrounded By Baal Jo Chode Woh
Nihaal Jo Chudwaye Woh Be-Haal “

Baba Saxidas

Ek Tharki Aadmi Baba Saxidas Ke Pass Gaya Aur
Bola: “ Baba Ji, Main Bahut Tharki Hun, Mujhe
Nangi Ladkiya Dekhne Ka Bada Shonk Hai, Koi
Esa Upay Batao Ki Main Ye Kam Marne Ke Bad
Bhi Kar Saku ”
Baba Saxidas Bole: “ Bacha Ye Kaam To Bada Hi
Asan Hai, Jake Apni Aankhein Donate Kar Do. “

Plug Kya Tera Baap Aake Dalega

Ek Ladki Ladke Se: “ Main Ek RadioKi Tarah Hun,
Mera Daayaan(Left) Nipple Volume Ka Hai Or
Baayan(Right) Nipple Id Tuner Ka Hai ”
Ladka Dono Dabba Deta Hai Lekin Koi Aawaz
Nahi Aati.
Ladki Boli: “ Bewakuf Nichey Se Plug Kya Tera
Baap Aake Dalega “

L A U D A

Class Mein Aaye Naye Bache Se Madam Ne
Puchha
Madam: “ Tumhara Kya Naam Hai? ”
Student: “ Lassanmal Aamirbhai Uday Das
Aadwani ”
Madam: “ Lamba Hai Short Mein Batao? ”
Student: “ L A U D A “

Condom Ki Jagha Cycle Ki Tube

Santa Aur Uski Patni Bed Pe Lete Sex Se Related
Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe
Patni: “ Aapne Mere Boobs Chus Chus Ke Bade
Kar Diye Hai ”
Santa Hairan Hote Hue: “ Abe Sali, Esa Agar Hota
To Mera Lund Mere Ghutne Tak Pahunch Gaya
Hota OrMujhe Condom Ki Jagha Cycle Ki Tube
Lagani Padti “

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