LOVE SONG BY A SOFTWARE ENGINEER

LOVE SONG BY A SOFTWARE ENGINEER

Kal jab mile thhe............to dil mein hua ek sound.
Aur aaj mile to kehte hain...your FILE NOT FOUND!

Jo muddat se hota aaya hai, woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi. CTRL+ALT+ DEL kar doonga...

Shayad mere pyar ko, taste karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa CUT kiya, ke PASTE karna bhool gaye....

Laakhon honge nigaah mein, kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...
Mere pyaar ke icon pe, kabhi to DOUBLE CLICK karo...

Roz subha hum karte hain, pyar se unhe good morning...
Woh aise ghoor ke dekti hain, jaise 0 ERRORS aur 5 WARNING...

Aisa bhi nahin hai ke, I don't like your face.
Par dil ke storage mein, No more DISK SPACE.

Ghar se jab tum nikale, pehen ke reshmi gown.
Jaane kitne dilon ka, ho gaya SERVER DOWN

Teri Maa Di, Teri Bhen Di “

Ek Bar Ek Pathan, Himachli Aur Santa Apas Mein Apne Desh Ke Bare Mein Baatein Kar Raha Thha

Pathan: “ Hamare Registan Mein Awaz Maro Kushamdid To Vapis Awaz Ati Hai, Amid .. Amid ”

Himachli: “ Hamare Pahado Mein Awaz Maro I Love You To Vapis Awaz Ati Hai, Luv U … Luv U ”

Santa: “ Ye To Kuch Bhi Nahi, Hamare Punjab Mein Awaz Maro Teri Maa Di ch To Vapis Awaz Ati Hai, Teri Bhen Di “

kisi month na aye to samjho CHUD gai

Aadmi ki SALARY AURAT ki MC jaisi hoti h.
Jo 28 se 30 din me 1 baar aati h aur 3-4 din me Khatm ho jati h.
Yani kisi month na aye to samjho CHUD gai??

What the fuck! And what a fuck!

Before sex, you help each other get
naked. After sex, you dress only yourself.
Moral: In life no one helps you, once
you're fucked.
☆ Success is life pregnancy. Everybody
congratulates you but nobody knows how
many times you got fucked to achieve it.
★ What is the difference between
frustration and satisfaction? What the fuck!
And what a fuck!
☆ 3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is
a twosome. So next time someone calls
you "HANDSOME" don't take it as a
compliment.
★ Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes
hard for no reason.
☆ Practical thought: A husband is
supposed to make his wife'r panties wet,
not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make
her husband's dick hard, not his life.
★ According to William sexfear a drunk guy
is a liability, but a drunk girl is an asset.

Don't be Gaandu, Think Like Pandu

A girl asked Pandu !!!

Woh kya hai jo cow ke paas 4 hai aur mere paas 2 hai?

Pandu: legs.

Girl: woh kya hai jo tumhari paint ke andar hai aur meri salwar ke andar nahi hai?

Pandu: paise.

Girl: woh kya jo log din me lene ke bajay raat me bistar pe lete hai?

Pandu: neend.

Girl: woh kya hai jo ladki pahli bar karwate huye pain ki wajah se roti hai?

Pandu: kaan me chhed,

Moral: Don't be Gaandu, Think Like Pandu

Gaand To Phategi Hi Na“

aap bhi bologe has has ke phat raha he

Ek Angreji Smith Family Ko Kisi Ne Bataya
Ki India Mein Business Acha Hai To Unhone Apna Business India Set Karne Ki Sochi 
Aur India Mein Aa Gaya Par Un Becharo Ki Hindi Bahut Kharab Thhi, Unhone Kafi Koshish Ki Par Sudhaar Na Paye

Ek Din Unke Yahan Naukri Ke Liye Ek Bihari Aadmi Aaya Jiska Naam Ganpat Rai Thha 

Mr Smith Ne Uska Interview Liya

Mr.Smith: “Gaand Phatt Raha Hai..???”
(He Tried To Say Ganpat Rai, But Due To Bad English He Pronounsed So)

Bihari: “Nahi Sahab, Jayda Nahi Thoda- Thoda Phatt Raha Hai”

Mr.Smith (Gusse Se): “Wat Thoda- Thoda Phatt Raha Hai??
Tumhare Application Mein Likha Hai Tumhara Gaand Phatt Raha Hai”

Bihari: “Thik Hai Sahab Ji, Ab Likha Hai Toh Phatt Hi Raha Hoga”

Mr.Smith: “Tum Daily Maraata Hai…???”
(Tum Delhi Mein Rehta Hai.)

Bihari: “Daily Nahi Sahab Kabhi-Kabhi Maraata Hai”

Mr.Smith: “Wat Kabhi-Kabhi Maraata Hai..???

Tumhare Application Me Likha Hai Tum Daily Maraata Hai”

Bihari: “Thik Hai Sahab Ji”

Bihari Got The Job,
Lekin Usko Smith K Ghar Ka Kaam Bhi Kaarna Padhta Tha

Job’s 1st Day
Mr.Smith: “Aaj Tum Sabse Pehle Humari Biwi Ko Gaadi Me Chodega (Chhodega, To Drop),
Phir Humari Beti Ko Aur Phir Humko”

Bihari: “Sahab Aapki Biwi Aur Beti Toh Chalegi Par Mein Aapko Nahi Chod Sakta”

Mr.Smith: “Kyun Nahi Chodega..?????
Chodo Warna Hum Tumko Nikaal Dega”
Bihari Agreed To Do So.
Par Kisi Vajah Se Smith Khud Hi Chala Gaya Kuch Din Baad Smith Ki Beti Ghar Pe Akele Thi.

Woh Party Mein Jaane Ke Liye Taiyaar Ho Rahi Thi.

Us Se Apni Bra Piche Se Baandhtey Nahi Ban Rahi Thi,
Toh Usne Ganpat Rai Ko Bulaya

Daughter: “Gaand Phatt Raha Hai,
Gaand Phatt Raha Hai.”

Bihari: “Ji Memsahab”

Daughter: “Humare Piche Se Gaand Maaro”
(Humara Piche Se Gaanth Bandho, To Note)

Bihari: “Yeh Aap Kya Bol Rahi Ho Madam,
Sahab Ko Pata Chala Toh Naukri Se Nikaal Denge”

Daughter: “Tum Hamari Gaand Maro Nahi To Hum Tumhe Naukri Se Nikal Denge”

Bihari Apna Lund Nikaalta Hai Aur Smith Ki Beti Ki Piche Se Gaand Maarne Lag Jata Hai

Daughter Dard Se Chillate Hue: “Gaand Phatt Raha Hai, Gaand Phatt Raha Hai” (Ganpat Rai, Ganpat Rai)

Bihari: “Ab Hamara 8 Inch Ka Hai Memsaab,
Gaand To Phategi Hi Na“

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