oh my god moment......

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oh my god moment......
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When u create a file named
'gwresfjtgatwpjd' .........
and stil you get a message:
.
.
'
File name already exists'..:-@ :p :D
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A three-year old walks over to a pregnant

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A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while
waiting with his mother in a doctor’s surgery. “Why is your stomach so big?” – he asks.

“I´m having a baby.” – she replies.
“Is the baby in your stomach?” – he asks, with his
big eyes.

“Yes, it is.” – she says. “Is it a good baby?” – he asks, with a puzzled look.
“Oh, yes. A really good baby.” – the lady replies. 

Shocked and surprised, he asks: “Then why did you
eat him?” ... :P
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"Balika vadhu" special Joke

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"Balika vadhu" special

Anandi:
Dadi sa, suhagrat k pehle niche k bal katne padte h kya?

Dadisa:
Pata nai chhori
Mhare to shadi k 4 sal bad bal aaye the..
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LAUDA LE LE MERA.............

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1 Pinjre me 50 Bandaria or 1 Bandar chhoda gya, Or Elaan hua k jo 1 minute me Bandar ko pehchan kr Pakad lega use $10,000 milenge

1st - Obama gya Par fail ho gya..

2nd - George bush gya lekin wo bi nakaam rha

3rd - Manmohan singh gya or 10 second me Bandar le aaya..

Sab ne hairani bhari nazron se manmohan se pucha aap ne kaise pata kra?

Manmohan: Mai pinjre me gya or kaha ki

"VOTE CONGRESS KO HI DENA" to sirf ek ne kaha-

"LAUDA LE LE MERA"..
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what are they so busy doing?

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A man called his friend’s house and a small voice
greeted him.
“Is your Daddy there?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Could I speak with him?”
“He’s busy,” the little voice replied. “Well, can I speak to your mother?”
“Nope, she is busy, too.”
“Well then, let me talk with your brother.”
“He’s busy, too.”
“For goodness sakes, what are they so busy doing?”
“They are looking for me!” ...
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if he needed to wear glasses

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Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby.
Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears.
When they arrived home from the hospital, the
parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over
and see their new baby.

Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son
would have a wise crack to say about the baby. So,
Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little Johnny
before going to the neighbors. He said, "Now,
son...that poor baby was born without any ears. I
want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spank your
butt when we get back home.

"I promise not to
mention his ears at all," said Little Johnny.
At the neighbors home, Little Johnny leaned over the
crib and touched the baby's hand.

He looked at it's
mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!"
The mother, who had braced herself for Johnny's
comment, was pleasantly surprised and said, "Thank
you very much, Little Johnny."

He then said," This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why, just look at his pretty little eyes! Did his doctor
say he can see good?

The mother a bit bewildered,
hesitantly replies "Why, yes... his doctor said he has
20/20 vision, why do you ask?"

Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a good thing, cause he'd
be screwed if he needed to wear glasses" ...
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“breath in, now breath out” repeatedly.

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A blonde lady was going to get her hair layered at the salon with headphones on. The lady at the salon said to take the headphones off.

The blonde said ” No way, I would die if I did”.
The lady said “Whatever” and did her work. Then the lady took the headphones off thinking it wouldn’t matter if she did.

The blonde dropped dead.
The salon lady heard the headphones saying “breath
in, now breath out” repeatedly... :P

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Need to Focus More On

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Teacher: Who is the President of
United States?
Little Johnny: I don't know Miss
Teacher: You need to focus more on
your studies.
Johnny: Please Miss, can I ask a
question?
Teacher: Yes.
Johnny: Do U know Angela?
Teacher: No, why?
Johnny : You need to focus more on
your husband!
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Husband: Last night I was ................

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Husband: Last night I was sitting in
the living room, talking to my wife
about life..
In-between, we talked about the
idea of living or dying.
i told her : Never let me live in a
vegetative state, totally dependent
on machines and liquids from a
bottle. If you see me in that state I
want you to disconnect all the
contraptions that are keeping me
alive, I'd much rather die'.
My wife got up from the sofa with
this real look of admiration
towards me & proceeded to
disconnect the Cable tv, & DVD,
then the Computer, the Cell Phone,
the iPod, and the Xbox, and then
went to the bar and threw away all
my whisky, rum, gin, vodka & the
beer from the fridge...
I ALMOST DIED!!
Moral :
Think before u talk to to your
wife
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3 drunk guys enterd

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3 drunk guys enterd a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached
your destination".

The 1st guy gave him money &
the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver.

The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What
was that for?". The 3rd guy replied, "Control your
speed next time, you nearly killed us!"

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Altaf Bhai Ka Area Hai..

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Altaf bhai ke area mein Rape ho gaya.
Jis ladke ne Rape kiya usko Altaf bhai ke paas laya gaya.
Altaf: Ye apun ka area hai, yeh jaante hue bhi tune rape kiya?
Boy: Sorry galti ho gayi.
Altaf: Accha ye sab kaise hua?
Boy: Usne apun ko ishare se upar bulaya. Apun gaya to usne ghar ka gate band kara.
Altaf: Fir?
Boy: Woh boli,Oye chikne meri pyas bujha de!
Altaf: Fir?
Boy: Apun ne socha ki Altaf bhai ka area hai lafda nahi karne ka.
Altaf: Fir?
Boy: Apun bola 1-2 kiss karega, suck bhi karega, lekin fuck nahi, akhir Altaf bhai ka
area hai.
Altaf: Fir?
Boy: Usne meri pant utar di fir apne kapde utarne lagi.
Altaf: (being excited) Fir?
Boy: Usne apni jeans & top utar di aur fir bra & panty bhi,apun to mast ho gaya,
lekin socha ki altaf bhai ka area hai.
Altaf: (fully excitd) Fir?
Boy: Apun ne uske lips pe kiss kiya & boobs suck karne laga but dimag mein tha ki
altaf bhai ka area hai..
Altaf (out of control): Fir?
Boy: Apun aage badhne wala tha lekin socha ki Altaf bhai ka area.
Altaf: Abe Altaf bhai ki maa ki chut....
Boy: Bhai.. Mein bhi yahi socha aur dal diya...:) :)
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Rajnikanth had spit on it

 Once a boy took his girlfriend to the Red Fort.
.
Girl-Why is the Red Ford red?
.
Boy was in a pretty jovial mood.
. Boy-It is because once Rajnikanth had spit on it
after eating 'paan'.
.
The boy now takes her to Taj Mahal.
.
Boy-Now don't ask me why Taj Mahal is white.

Smart Dog

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Ek din ek kutta jungle main raasta kho gaya.
Tabhi usne dekha ek sher uski taraf aa raha hai.
Kutte ki saans ruk gayi.

"Aaj to kaam tamaam mera!"

Phir usne saamne kuchh sookhi haddiyan padi

dekhi.

Woh aate hue sher ki taraf peeth kar ke baith

gaya aur ek sookhi hadii ko choosnelaga aur zor zor se bolne laga,
"wah! Sher ko khaane ka mazaa hi kuch aur hai.
Ek aur mil jaaye to poori daawat ho jayegi!"
Aur usne zor se dakaar mara.
.
Is baar sher soch mein pad gayaa,
Usne socha "ye kutta to sher ka shikar karta hai!
Jaan bacha kar bhago!"
Ped par baitha ek Bandar yeh sab tamasha dekh
raha tha.
Usne socha yeh mauka achhahai sher ko saari
kahani bata deta hoon isse sher se
dosti ho jayegi aur zindagi bhar ke liye jaan ka
khatra dur ho jayega !
.
Woh fatafat sher ke pichhe bhaaga.
Kutte ne Bandar ko jaate huedekh liya !
.
Udhar Bandar ne sher ko sab bata diya ki kaise
kutte ne use bewakoof banaya hai.
Sher ne zor se kaha,
"chal mere saath abhi uski leela khatam karta
hoon",
aur Bandar ko apni peeth par baitha kar sher
kutte ki taraf lapka. ! !
Can u imagine the quick management by the
DOG..??
.
.
.
.
Kutte ne sher ko aate dekha to ek baar phir uski
taraf peeth karke baith gaya aur zor
zor se bolne laga,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Is Bandar ko bheje huye 1 ghanta ho gaya,
saala ek sher fasaa kar nahi la saka..!!"
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JOKE OF THE DAY

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An old man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts.

He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?"

"Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away.

He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"

So the little old man runs around the next block and faces her again, "Would you let me bite your breasts - just once - for $10,000?!"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, $10,000... Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world.

As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.

The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, 'Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?'
"Nah," says the little old man... "Costs too much!"

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Once A couple went 2 a restaurant..
.
BF:" Kya logi tum ??
GF:" Tum jo kaho..
.
.
BF:" Achcha waiter zara Menu lana
.
.
.
.
.
.
GF:" (nazre jhuka ke) Mai bhi menu
khaungi... :p :O :D

Aur Patao Gawaro Ko.................

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Santa’s Girlfriend Told Him To Bring The Protection,

Next Time They Go for sex,

Santa Brought, 3 Brothers And 5 Cousins With Hockey Sticks!

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