True Fact

True Fact...

Ladkiyo ki Shakal itni buri nhi hoti jitni Unke Voter-Id-Card me hoti hai..!
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Or itni sunder bhi nahi hoti jitni Facebook ki profile me hoti hai....

After An Accident

After An Accident:
American: “ It’s Fine Man”
British: “I Am So Sorry”
Australia: “ No Worries Dude”
Germany: “ Are You Okay? ”
India: “ Andha Hai Kya Be Bhosdike,
Dhakkan Ki Tarha Chala Raha Hai,
Akkal Ke Dushman, Gandu Saale,
Tere Baap Ka Road Hai Kya? Bahar
Nikal Dekh Teri Kaise Bajata Hoon“

Generation effect.

Generation effect. .
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Ek bccha ro rha tha, toh uskimummy boli:"kyu ro rha hai mera lal, kya chahiye.. ??
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Tofy.. ??
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Biscuit.. ??
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Cake.. ??
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Beta:"bas ek sanam chahiye ashiqui ke liye..

outstanding student

I m the most outstanding student in my class....
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becoz
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I always stand outside the class ....
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So PROUD to b an OUTSTANDING STUDENT :O :D

outstanding student

I m the most outstanding student in my class....
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becoz
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I always stand outside the class ....
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So PROUD to b an OUTSTANDING STUDENT :O :D

not having fight in last 25 years

A couple celebrate their 25th marriage Anniversary

They were famous for not having fight in last 25 years

Guests- Sir its amazing how did u make it possible?

Husband- we had been go to shimla, there we Did horse ridding
My Wife's horse was a crazy!

on the way, that horse jumped suddenly Making my wife topple over she patted the horse back & said :"This is ur 1st Tym "

after a while it happened again She said "This is ur 2nd tym"
& continued.

when the horse dropped her 3rd tum she silently took out a revolver & shot the horse dead

I shouted- wat did u do, u psyho. U killed the poor Animal? R u crazy?

She gave a silent look & said- This is ur 1st tym

Husband:- Thats it And since then we are happy ever after.

not having fight in last 25 years

A couple celebrate their 25th marriage Anniversary

They were famous for not having fight in last 25 years

Guests- Sir its amazing how did u make it possible?

Husband- we had been go to shimla, there we Did horse ridding
My Wife's horse was a crazy!

on the way, that horse jumped suddenly Making my wife topple over she patted the horse back & said :"This is ur 1st Tym "

after a while it happened again She said "This is ur 2nd tym"
& continued.

when the horse dropped her 3rd tum she silently took out a revolver & shot the horse dead

I shouted- wat did u do, u psyho. U killed the poor Animal? R u crazy?

She gave a silent look & said- This is ur 1st tym

Husband:- Thats it And since then we are happy ever after.

1 Rupye ke liye Office

Bikhari:" Behan Bhagvan ke naam par 1 rupya do!
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Lady:" Haramkhor, sharam nahi aati, Road par bheekh maangte ho..
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Bikhari:" To kya Tere 1 Rupye ke liye me ab Office khol lu..

Railway Station Warning Board

Railway Station Warning Board:
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Rail Ki Patri Par Baith Kar Potty Na Karein.
Aap Roz Haath Se Picchwada Dhote Hain,
Kisi Din Picchwade Se Haath Dho Baithenge". xD

Water ka Molecular formula

Teacher:" Water ka Molecular formula batao ???
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Student:" H2O + Mgcl2 + Caso4 + Alcl3 + NaoH+ KOH + HNO3 + HCL
+ CO2...

Teacher:" Ye answer galat hai..
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Student:" Maam ye Naale ka pani hai..:p :O :D

towel with career

a towel can make ur career - Ranbeer kapoor

a towel can destroy you career - shreeshant

u can make career without a towel - sunny leone

IPL telecast on set max

Now I know why the ipl is being
telecast on set max .
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coz everything is SET :p ;)

Boy teasing a girl

Boy teasing a girl:"Ae
chalti kya.. ??
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Gal:"Kaha.. ??
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Boy:"Wherever u say... .
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Gal:"Ok lets go
shopping..
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Boy:"Kasam se didi
aapke sath to na mazak
karna bhi gunah :D :P

TATA DOCOMO latest commercial..

TATA DOCOMO latest commercial..
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While watching IPL.... Think of us.... Coz....
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Leading BOOKIES use our Network.. :P :D xD

SUPER FADU JOKE

SUPER FADU JOKE ...MUST READ

Old Lady to Doctor: Mujhe Gas ki problem hai par achhi baat ye hai ki meri gas me na BadBu aati hai na Awaaz
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Aap k clinic me bhi 20 baar gas chhod chuki
hu par kisi ko pata nahi chala......
Doctor: "Ye Dawa lijiye aur 1 weekbaad aayiye".
(1 week baad)
Old Lady:"Aap ne mujhe kya dawa de di....??
Meri gas me ab bhi aawaz nahi aarahi par bahut Zehrili Badbu aa rahi hai"
Doctor:"Good..! ­ Aapki Naak theek ho gayi hai
Ab hum aap k KAAN ka ilaaj karenge...

Pagal saaley

Ek baar Santa dukan ja ke dukandar se kaha:" jara machhis dena...
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Dukandar ne lighter utha ke diya..
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Santa gussey mein dukandar ko ek jor ka thapad lagaya aur bola:'' Pagal saaley, lighter se koyi kaan khujata hain..

Khatarnak Student

*Extraordinaril­y Khatarnak Student*

Teacher: "Do you know Avogadro's Number"..?
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Student(Pappu): ­ "Avogadro Ladka Tha Ya Ladki"..?
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Teacher: "Ladka"..!!
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Student(Pappu): ­ "Sorry Dude,
Mai Ladko Ke Number Nahi Rakhta"..!!!

Maaro He Choto Hain..!

Marwadi Suhagraat Ko Sex Karte Huye: Thari
Bahut Loose Hain.?
Biwi Ghusse Se: Apnaa Jaldi Nikaalo Aane
Return My Dads Car, LCD, AC, Fridge,
Motorcycle..
Marwadi: Rehene Dey.. Maaro He Choto
Hain..!

Jawani

Jawani Tere Lund Par Is Tarah Aayi..
Wah.. Wah..
Abey Bhosdi Ke Sun Toh Le..
Jawani Tere Lund Par Is Tarah Aayi..
Kutte Ki Gaand Mein Bhi Tujhe Choot Nazar
Aayi..!

chalane wali madam

Police:" Jis car ne tumhe thoka, uska colour & No
yaad hai..???
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Pappu:" Nahi mera Dhyan to driving pe tha,
par chalane wali madam ne Red
shirt pehni thi & uske 2 button khule the sahab..

chupaan chuppi

Ladki : Chalo chupaan chuppi khelte
hain . . .
Agar tumne mujhe dhoond liya to tum
meri le lena . .
Aur Agar tumne nahin dhoonda to main
tumhari loongi . .;;)
Ladka : Theek hai . . .
Lekin ek baat bataao . .
Tum meri Kaise logee ?X_X
Ladki : Hum Shopping Chalenge X_

Izzat

Ladki: Aaj Teen Daaku Aaye Aur Meri Izzat
Loot Li..
Ladka: Tumne Un Ko Roka Nahin.?
Ladki: Maine Bahut Roka.. Lekin Woh Kehne
Lage Ab Humein Jaane Do Hum Thak Gaye
Hain..!

Ghosle Par

Ladki Ne Apni Choot Ke Upar Chidiya Ka
Tatto Banwaya..
Ek Din Sex Ke Baad Usne Ladke Se Poocha:
Tumne Chidiya Dekhi.?
Ladka: Nahin.. Mera Sara Dhyan Ghosle Par
Tha..!

dil jalane wali

Pappu cigarette pee raha tha ki us ka baap
aa gaya
Pappu ne cigarette shirt ki jeb mein chupa
li
Baap :- " tum cigarette pee rahe the ?
Pappu:" nahin to
Baap:" To phir tumhari shirt se yeh
dhuwan kyun nikal raha hai ?
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Pappu:" aap ne baat hi dil jalane wali ki hai

dil jalane wali ki

Pappu cigarette pee raha tha ki us ka baap
aa gaya
Pappu ne cigarette shirt ki jeb mein chupa
li
Baap :- " tum cigarette pee rahe the ?
Pappu:" nahin to
Baap:" To phir tumhari shirt se yeh
dhuwan kyun nikal raha hai ?
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Pappu:" aap ne baat hi dil jalane wali ki hai

dil jalane wali ki

Pappu cigarette pee raha tha ki us ka baap
aa gaya
Pappu ne cigarette shirt ki jeb mein chupa
li
Baap :- " tum cigarette pee rahe the ?
Pappu:" nahin to
Baap:" To phir tumhari shirt se yeh
dhuwan kyun nikal raha hai ?
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Pappu:" aap ne baat hi dil jalane wali ki hai

dil jalane wali ki

Pappu cigarette pee raha tha ki us ka baap
aa gaya
Pappu ne cigarette shirt ki jeb mein chupa
li
Baap :- " tum cigarette pee rahe the ?
Pappu:" nahin to
Baap:" To phir tumhari shirt se yeh
dhuwan kyun nikal raha hai ?
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Pappu:" aap ne baat hi dil jalane wali ki hai

Double heart attack

Double heart attack message by a girl to a
boy:
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1st Msg:" Lets break up now, its all over..
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2nd Msg:" Sorry, Sorry, Sorry!That msz was not for you...

Fill In The Blank

Teacher - Homework Kita ?
Santa - Hanji, Kita !
Teacher - Fill In The Blank
900 Chuhe Kha Ke Bili____Chali
Santa - 900 Chuhe Kha Ke Billi Holi Holi
Chali
Teacher - Oye Murkha Tenu Pata Nahi Ehda
Ki Jawaab Hai.
Santa - Tuhada Lehaaj Rakhya Hai, Tussi
Mere Master Ho..
Nahi ta 900 Chuhe Kha Ke Ta Billi Hil V Nahi
Sakdi, Main Ta Fer Vi Holi Holi Turaa Diti:O
Omg.. Haste haste pet dard ho
gaya. Lolz.. ROFL..

yahi chod dunga

Ek Totla Taxi Drivr 3 girls ko le k ja rha
tha..
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Policewala- Ladkiyon ko le k kaha ja
rhe ho ?
TOTLA- Chodne !! .
POLICE- Kya bakwas hai ye ?
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TOTLA- Ek ko park me chodna
hai.. Ek ko ghar pe chodna hai..
Itne me tisri ladki boli kya bakwas kr rahe
ho..?
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TOTLA-Tum chup raho nahi to
tumhe yahi chod dunga. . .

pregnant

Girlfriend to boyfriend :"I am pregnant
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Boyfriend :"Are you sure ye baccha mera
hai
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Girlfriend rone lagi aur boli :"
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Yaar sab aise hi kahenge to kaise
chalega ???
Boys thoko likes

Centuries

Random fact:
Centuries which took the least number of balls:
Azhar - 62
Sehwag - 60
Jayasuriya - 48
Lara - 45
Boucher - 44
Afridi - 37
Dhritharashtra - 2

South- Indian MOVIES

FACTS OF South- Indian MOVIES

1) Hero ka alag hi attitude hota hai, ladka ladki ke piche nahi, Ladki ladke ke piche padti hai...

2) Ladka bahot kamzor patla aur ganda hoga dikhne mein lekin ladki jo hogi vo puri maal hogi...

3) Ladke ke patle aur kamzor hone par bhi vo apne se bahot jyada tagde gundo ko aesi marta hai jese koi mazak ho...

4) Hero ke sath ek cartoon zarur hoga jo bohot hi ganda hoga dikhne mein aur comedy karne ke chakkar me bahot over acting karta h jo saaf dikhta hai aur hasi
bilkul nahi aati....!!

"Fir Bhi Ye Star Gold aur UTV Movies waale South Indian Films Baar Baar Dikhate Rehenge...!! :|"

Santa Ka Amazing Jadu

Santa Ka Amazing Jadu
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Santa Banta Apni Chatt Pe Bethe Hue Thhe Koi Kaam Dhanda Nahi Thha

Achanak Santa Bola: "Oye, Mujhe Jadu Aata Hai, Dekhna Hai?"

Banta: "Sachhi Yaar, Dikha Kar Ke"

Santa: "Apni Pent Utar Aur Jhuk Ja"

Banta: "Achha, Ab?"

Santa: "Tujhe Apni Gaand Mein Meri Ungli Mehsoos Ho Rahi Hai?"

Banta: "Haan Yaar"

Santa Apne Dono Haath Uper Utha Ke Usko Kaht Hai

Santa: "Par Dekh Mere Dono Haath To Uper Hai, Dekha Jaadu"

Bahut Lamba

Ladka Ladki Se Bolta Hai: "Mujh Se Shadi Kar Lo, Mera Bahut Lamba Hai"

Ladki Hairani Se: "Kya?"

Ladka: "Anubhav"

Ladki: "Oh Thik Hai Main Tyaar Hun Mera Bhi Kaafi Gehra Hai"

Ladka: "Kya?"

Ladki: "Aatmavishwas"

Condom Ka Kharcha

14 Saal Ka Ladka Apne Pados Ki Aunty Se Puchhta Hai,
Ladka: “Aunty, Ladkiyon Ko 12 Saal Ki Umar Mein Bachcha Hota Hai Kya?”
Aunty: “Nahi”
Ladka: “To Fir Apni Beti Ko Samjhao Na, Faltu Mein Condom Ka Kharcha Karwati Hai“

Blackmail

After Spending The Night At A Hotel With A Prostitute,
A Politician Takes Three $100 Bills Out Of His Wallet And Places Them On The Dresser.
“Thanks“, Says The Hooker, ”But I Only Charge 20 Bucks.”
“Twenty Bucks For The Whole Night?” The Politician Yelps. ”There Is No Way You Can Make A Living On That.”
“Oh, Don’t Worry“, Replies The Prostitute. “I Do A Little Blackmail On The Side.“

Daddy Chutar Dho Rahey Hain

Ek Baar Ek Sardaar Apni Patni KeySaath Scooter Dho Raha Tha.
Kisi Aadmi Ne Sardaar Ke Totley Ladke Se Puchha “ Tere Papa Kahan Hai? ”
Totla Ladka Bola “ Daddy Chutar Dho Rahey Hain Aur Mummy Pani Dal Rahi Hain “

Gaur Farmaiyega

Girlfriend Ban Jane Ke Baad Usko Chhoone Ke Liye Hum Bada Utavlapan Dikha Dete Hai, Jo Ki Galat Hai. Is Cheez Ka Khamiyaza Chodumal Khan Sahab Ne Ek Sher Mein Arz Kiya Hai."
Dilbar Ki Hamne Pyar Se Chuchiyan Jo Daba Di.
Gaur Farmaiyega,
Dilbar Ki Hamne Pyar Se Chuchiyan Jo Daba Di.
Bahen Ki Lodi Ne Laat Maar Ke Humari Gotiyaan Hi Suja Di.

Bhavishye

Ek Ladki Ne Swami L#nnacharya Ka Bada Naam Suna Thha, Ek Din Kuch Paane Ki Chah Mein Unke Pass Ja Pahunchi.
Ladki: ?Swami Ji Kya Aap Mujhe Bhavishya Dekhna Sikha Sakte Ho??
Swami Ji: ?Yeh Kaam To Bahut Hi Aasan Hai Bachha?
Ladki Khushi Se: ?Toh Fir Sikhao Na Mujhe Bhavishye Dekhna?
Swami Ji: ?Kapde Utaro Aur Ghodi Ban Jao?
Ladki Gabrate Hue: ?Swami Ji Yeh Kya, Aap To Mujhe Ch#dna Chahte Ho??
Swami Ji Muskurate Hue: ?Dekha, Dikhne Lagaa Na Bhavishya?

Miss Call

Ladke Ne Ladki Ko Ungli Kar Ke Bhaag Gaya..
Pichhe 65 Saal Ka Buddha Khada Tha..
Ladki: Baba.. Miss Call Aap Ne Kiya.?
Baba Dhoti Uttha Kar: Mera Toh Mobile
Switch Off Hain..!

Boobs Choose Hai?

Ek Dost Ne Dusre Dost Se Pucha: “ Oye, Tune Kabhi Life Mein Kisi Aurat Ke Boobs Choose Hai? ”
Dusra Dost: “ Nahi Yaar, Kabhi Moka Nahi Laga ”
Pahla Dost: “ To Bhonsdi Ke Kya Tu Apne Baap Ke Tatte Choos Ke Bada Hua Hai? “

Kharabi Aurat Mein Ya Mard Mein

Ek Be-Aulad Aurat Pe Ek Doctor Chada Hua Tha,
Aur Doctor Ke Upar Aurat Ka Pati,
Ek Aadmi Ne Ye Dekh Aur Chonk Kar Puchha: “ Arey Doctor Sahaab Ye Kya? ”
Doctor: “ Check Kar Raha Hoon Ki Kharabi Aurat Mein Hai Ya Mard Mein “

Garam Kar Layi

Sardar Ji Ki Shadi Hui To First Night Ko Apni Biwi Ki Choo.T Ke Niche Mombatti Jala Ke Beth Gaye
Biwi Ne Pucha: “ Eh Ki Kar Raye Ho Ji? ”
Sardar: “ Dostaan Ne Keya Si Ke Fud.Di Len To Pehla Garam Kar Layi “

Niche Ke Baal

Chinki Aur Uski Saheli Pinky Class Mein Bethe Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe.
Achanak Pinky Ke Dimag Mein Ek Sawal Aya Aur Usne Chinki Se Puchha.
Pinky: “ Chinki Yaar Ek Baat To Bata ”
Chinki: “ Puch? ”
Pinky: “ Yaar Hamare Sir Ke Baal Bahut Jaldi Safed Ho Jate Hai Magar Niche Ke Nahi, Esa Kyu Hai? ”
Chinky Huste Hue: “ Ja Pagli, Itna Bhi Nahi Pata, Niche Ke Baal Sir KeBalo Se 14 Saal Chote Jo Hote Hai

Aao-Aao Bhonsdiwaalo

Pappu Jab Chhota Tha To Santa NeUse Ek Toy Train Lake Di.
Pappu Ne Fatafatt Train Ko Khola Aur Us Se Khelne Lag Gaya.
Thodi Der Baad Santa Jab Aaya ToUsne Pappu Ko Bolte Suna.
Pappu: “ Aao-Aao Bhonsdiwaalo Jaldi Aao Train Chhootne Wali Hai ”
Santa Ne Ye Suna Aur Sidha PappuKo Do Thappad Lagaye.
Pappu Aadhe Ghante Tak Rota Raha.
Aadhe Ghante Baad Dobaara TrainKo Pakda Aur Bola.
Pappu: “ Bhonsdi Walo Jisne Train Pe Chadna Hai Chado Nahi Chadna To Na Chado, Ek Madarchod Ki Wajah Se Train Pahle Hi Aadha-Ghanta Late Hai “

Lund To Hamare Gaanv Mein Kallu Ka Hota Tha

Santa Ne Socha Ki Vo Gaon Mein Hi Shadi Karega
Kyunki Gaon Ki Ladkiyan Shariff Aur Sex Se Anjaan Rahti Hain Isliye Kunwari Bhi Hoti Hain.
Santa Ke Baap Ne Uske Liye Rishtedari Mein Ek Gaanv Ki Ladki Dhundi
Santa Us Sse Milne Gaya Aur Usko Apna Lund Dikha Ke Pucha
Santa: “ Ye Kya Hai? ”
Ladki: “ Ye Chuha Hai ”
Santa Bada Khush Hua Ki Ladki To Sharif Hai Isko Kuch Bhi Nahi Pata
Usne Us Ladki Ke Sath Shadi Kar Li
Suhag Raat Pe Santa Ne Usko Apna Lund Dikhaya Aur Poochha
Santa: “ Ye Kya Hai? ”
Ladki: “ Ji Ye Chuha Hai ”
Santa Ne Socha, Ab Is Ko Iska Asli Naam Bata Hi Deta Hun
Santa: “ Ye Chuha Nahi Lund Hai ”
Ladki: “ Areey Ye Chuha Hi Hai, Lund To Hamare Gaanv Mein KalluKa Hota Tha “

3 Bacho Ki Maa Hun

Ek Lady Local Bus Me Khadi Hokar Ja Rahi Thi
Achanak Apne Peeche Khade Ladke Se Boli
Lady: “ Hill Kyu Rahe Ho, Thik Se Khade Nahi Ho Sakte. ”
Ladka: “ Madam Woh Peeche Se Dhakke Aa Rahe Hain ”
Lady: “ Kamine, 3 Bacho Ki Maa Hun Dhakke Aur Ghasse Mein Farak Janti Hun “

Pahle Mera, Pahle Mera

6th Class Ko Pada Rahi Teacher Bachho Ko Boli: “ Shor Mat MachaoNahi To Nikal Kar Bahar Khada Kar Dungi .”
Sabhi Bachhe Zor Zor Se Chillane Lage: “ Pahle Mera, Pahle Mera

THINKING OF BOYS N GIRLZ IN FIRST MEET

THINKING OF BOYS N GIRLZ IN FIRST MEET;):P
Girl: kitna seedha h..!
boy: kya maal h..!
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girl: nice behaviour..!
boy: kash pat jaye..!
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girl: dresing sense zabardast h..!
boy: skirt, top mein or hot lagegi..!
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Girl: agr razi ho gya toh isi seshadikrungi..!
Boy: bs 1 bar han krde muje konse shadi karni
hai..

Aatma Kaisi Nikal Gayi?

Santa Ki Biwi Mar Gayi. Uske Sare Friends And Relatives Hairan Thhe Ki Kal Tak To Thik Thak Thhi Achanal Kaisi Mar Gayi.

Ek Friend Ne Santa Se Pucha: “Oye Babhi Ko Achanak Kya Hua, Kaisi Mar Gayi? Vo To Beemar Bhi Nahi Thhi?”

Santa Rote Hue: “Yaar Main Khud Hairan Hun, Kal Rat Ko Hum Sex Kar Rahe Thhe?”

Dost: “Fir?”

Santa: “Rajayi Ke Ander Uske Muh Mein Mera Muh Tha, Gaand Mein Ungli Thhi, Choot Mein Lund Thha, Pata Nahi Sali Ki Aatma Kaisi Nikal Gayi?“

Dikhau Kya

Bus Stop Par Boy Girl Se Bola :
BOY:- Sendil To Bahot Achi Pehni
Hai.
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Girl :- Utar Kar Dikhau Kya ??
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BOY :- Lo...
Is Se Zyada Acchi To Top Pehni
Hai....
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Girl Shocked - Boy
Rocked......... ;. .

eating bananas

11 year old girl realized growing hair between her legs. Got worried, and yelled Mom about hair.
Mom calmly said. "That part where hair has grown is called a monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair."

Next morning at breakfast she told her elder sister
"My monkey has grown hair"

Her Elder Sister smiled and said.

"that's nothing, mine started eating bananas."

Mom fainted

Bache mann ke sache

Bacha chest par hath rakh ke pencil uthane ke liye jhuka 

baap: chest pe hath q rakha beta:?

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Bacha: school me madam bina hath rakhe jhuki thi.
To fefde bahar aa gaye the:-P:-O:-D hahahaha thoko lyk

Ae kya kholti tu

Ae kya kholti tu
Ae kya main kholu
sun
suna
kholti kya panty
bra
kya karu kholke ye
panti bradalunga chodunga
aur bacha paida
karunga aur kya..

horn baja lu

1 Ldki ki T Shirt pe car bani hui thi...

1 Baccha use Dekh rha tha

Ldki: Car chalani h Kya?

Baccha: nhi car nhi chalani par agar aap ki ijazat ho to horn baja lu...