he and she hahahahaha

He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

She said...You wear briefs, don't you?

He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?

She said...Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.

He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.

She said...Well, you have succeeded.

He said... You have a flat chest and need to shave your legs, have you ever been mistaken for a man?

She said...No, have you?

He said... Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains?

She said...Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.

He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight.

She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

sex for an hour

One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, "Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun." The woman doctor agrees to it.

So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so.

Afterwards, the man says to the woman, "You're a surgeon, aren't you?" "Yeah, how did you know?" The man says, "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started." "Oh, that makes sense", says the woman. " You're an anesthesiologist aren't you?" "Yeah", says the man , a bit surprised. "How did you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing.

UP Walon Ke Name

A Guy From Uttar Pradesh (U.P.) Was Away From His Family For About 4 Years While His Wife Was In Jaunpur (U.P.).

At The End Of 4 Years He Distributed Sweets To His Colleagues In Office Stating That His Wife Had Delivered A Son.

His Colleagues Were Quite Shocked And They Asked How This ‘Happy Event’ Happened When He Had Not Seen His Wife For Four Years.

The Man Said It Is Common In U.P. That Neighbours Take Care Of The Wife When Men Are Away.

The Colleagues Asked Him: “What Name Will You Give To The Son?”

The Man Explained:

If Its The Second Neighbor Who Has Taken Care, Then The Name Would Be Dwivedi

If It Is The Third Neighbor Then It Would Be Trivedi

If It Is The Fourth Neighbor Then It Would Be Chaturvedi

If Its The Fifth Neighbor Then It Would Be Pandey.

After Listening To This, Questions Followed. What If It Is A Mixture Of Neighbors?

“Then The Boy Would Be Named Mishra”

And What If The Wife Is Too Shy To Tell The Name Of The Neighbor?

“Then It Would Be Sharma”

But What If She Refuses To Divulge The Name Of The Neighbor?

Then The Name Of The Child Would Be Gupta”

If She Does Not Remember The Name Then?

“It Is Yaad-Av”

But Who Knows Whether The Child Resulted From A Rape?

“Then It Will Be Named Doshi”

Finally, If The Child Happened Because Of The Wife’s Burning Desire For Sex, Then He Will Be Named Joshi.

Thought for the day

Thought for the day: 
A real man is one who makes a woman's private part wet not her eyes !!!

A real woman is one who makes a man's private part hard not his life ...

Thought of d Life

Thought of d Life-

Agar aap apni ungliyon ka upyog apni hi galtiyon ko ginne k liye kroge,
to dusro ki gaand me ungli krne ka waqt hi nhi milega..

Thought of d Life

Thought of d Life-

Agar aap apni ungliyon ka upyog apni hi galtiyon ko ginne k liye kroge,
to dusro ki gaand me ungli krne ka waqt hi nhi milega..

Thought of d Life

Thought of d Life-

Agar aap apni ungliyon ka upyog apni hi galtiyon ko ginne k liye kroge,
to dusro ki gaand me ungli krne ka waqt hi nhi milega..

Hawas ka poojari

Wife: Nashta kar lo.

Husband: Sex hi mera nashta hai & he starts sex.

Dopahar ko wife: Lunch kar lo.

Husband sex hi mera lunch hai & starts sex.

Raat ko jab husband aata hai to wife panty utaar kar
heater ke aage baithi hoti hai.

Husband: What is this?

Wife: Hawas ke poojari, khana garam kar rahin hoon!!

Hawas ka poojari

Wife: Nashta kar lo.

Husband: Sex hi mera nashta hai & he starts sex.

Dopahar ko wife: Lunch kar lo.

Husband sex hi mera lunch hai & starts sex.

Raat ko jab husband aata hai to wife panty utaar kar
heater ke aage baithi hoti hai.

Husband: What is this?

Wife: Hawas ke poojari, khana garam kar rahin hoon!!

Hawas ka poojari

Wife: Nashta kar lo.

Husband: Sex hi mera nashta hai & he starts sex.

Dopahar ko wife: Lunch kar lo.

Husband sex hi mera lunch hai & starts sex.

Raat ko jab husband aata hai to wife panty utaar kar
heater ke aage baithi hoti hai.

Husband: What is this?

Wife: Hawas ke poojari, khana garam kar rahin hoon!!

Dedicated to all SMOKERS

""Dedicated to all SMOKERS"
Phir ek cigarette, jalaa raha hu,
Phir ek teelli bujha raha hu,
♥♥
Teri Nazar mein yeh ek gunaah hai,
Main to tere saare waadein bhula raha hu,
♥♥
Samajhna mat isko meri Aadat,
Main tho bas dhuan uddha raha hu,
♥♥
Yeh tho teri yaado kaa silsila hai,
Main teri yaadein jalaa raha hu,
♥♥
Main pee kar itna bahek chuka hu ki,
Gum ke kisse sunaa raha hu,
♥♥
Agar tumhe bhi gum hai tho mere pass aao,
main pee raha hu aur pila raha hu,
♥♥
Haimeri Ankhein to aaj num,
Magar main sabko hansa raha hu,
♥♥
Khokar aapni zindagi aaj main,
Apne Be-Intehaa pyaar ko bhula raha hu,♥♥
"" Ek cigarette ki shama k bahane,
main aapne aap ko jalaa raha hu....!!!! ♥♥ :( :(

Lund raja

So Raha Tha Ek Rooz Lund,
Rakh Ke Tattoon Par Apna Sir,
Ke Pass Se Huwa Choot Ka Guzar
Lund Ne Dekha Use Utha Kar Sir,
Lund Ne Poocha Ja Rahi Hai Kidhar?
Agar Waqt Ho To Jara Aa Na Idhar
Choot Ne Kaha Aji Mujhey Maaf Kijiyey
Pahle Jo Kuch Muh Se Tapak Raha Hay.
Woh To Saaf Kijiyey
Lund Ne Jo Yeh Suna To Woh Gya Bigad
Phir Jo Kuch Na Hona Tha Woh Ho Gya Udhar
Jab Jo Kuch Na Hona Tha Woh Gya Ho
Lund Ne Rakha Tattoon Per Apna Sir
Aur Phir Chain Ki Neend Se Gya So
Choot Yeh Boli Lund Se Chud Janey Ke Baad
Janab Baat Hi Naheen Kartey,
Apna Matlab Nikal Janey Ke Baad.

2 men went 2 a callgirl.

2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said:
Na my wife is better.
2nd went in and came out n said:
U R right ur wife is much better.

i've never seen yous pic

Boy n girl on fb
.
girl:- “u never smile na??”
boy:-“hw can u say dis??”
.
.
. girl:-"i've never seen yous
smiling pics” .
.
.
boy:-“ok then …do u bath
daily??”
.
girl:-“ya ofcorse..y u asking??”
.
boy:-“no, I hvnt also
seen .any pic….” :D :D;-).
.
Hahaha boyz always rox :)

Mobile se mazak masti nhi

Gabbar: "Thakur ye mobile hum ko dede
.
.
.
Thakur: "Dekh yarr hath-pair ka mazak thik hai
.
.
.
Mobile se mazak masti nhi
.
.
.
Facebook chalu hai or
.
.
.
Basanti online hai..:p :O :D

Mentos zindagi

Looser's zindagi :
- sun rahi hai na tu , ro rha hu mein
.
.
.
.
.
Mentos zindagi :D -
- sun rhi hai na tu... dosri dhoond
raha hu mein !! :P

Gandi wali bezzati

Gandi wali bezzati :P

Ladka:“ Tu Dharti Pe
Chahe Kahi Bhi Rahe,
Main Tujhe Teri
Khushboo Se Pehchan
Lunga :* "
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ladki:“ Mujhe Pehle Hi
Pata Tha Saale, Tu Hai
Hi Kutta“:p :O :D

Jinn ko Dekh Larkiyon

Ek Shadi Mein Achanak Kahin se Ek JINN Aa Gaya..

Jinn ko Dekhte Hi:" Larkiyon ki Cheekheyn Nikal Gayin,
.
.
Wahan par Ek BABA Jee bhi the,

Unhon ne Larkiyon ko Kaha ke: "Sari Larkiyan Muh Dho Len...
.
.
.
Jab Woh Sab Muh Dho Kar Aayi to:"
.
.
"Face dekh kar JINN ki Cheekheyn Nikal Gayin..":p :

Example of a girl's brain

Example of a girl's brain
.
.
wife:" Ghar nahi aa sakti...
Car ka stearing, gear, break sab
...
chori ho gaye "..
.
After 1hour,
SHe calls back
"Aa rahi hu, galti se pichli seat pe
baith gayi thi"...
.
.
Iski to..... buddhi saali :P

After viewing Rockstar & Aashiqui 2 i can
conclude dat..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ladka sab kuch chhod sakta hai lekin daaru
nhi chhod sakta hai XD
Cheers !!*beer*

Cheers !!*beer*

After viewing Rockstar & Aashiqui 2 i can
conclude dat..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ladka sab kuch chhod sakta hai lekin daaru
nhi chhod sakta hai XD
Cheers !!*beer*

kamina saap

Jungle me sapera been
liye
baitha
tha....
.
. .
.
.
Gaur farmaiye Jungle me
sapera
been liye baitha tha......
.
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.
.
. .
.
.
Saap aur bhi kamina tha
woh
earphone lagaye baitha tha..xD :p

wo jagah jaha se "doodh" aata hai

Boy & girl akele car me.
Girl: Aaj me tumhe wo jagah dikhaungi jaha se mera "doodh" aata hai.
Boy: khush ho gya
Dikhao-Dikhao
Girl:Wo dekho AMUL DAIRY....=)) =))

Meri Shalwar Teri Talwaar

Kamar k dard ki 2 hi wajah hain -
.
1. Kasrat-e-Sex..
.
Ya
.
2. Hasrat-e-Sex..
.
Veena Malik ki kitab
(Meri Shalwar Teri Talwaar)
.
Chaptar: Mardana Kamzori...

Chup-chaap Bus chalaa..! Chutiya Saala.

Bus Driver ke peechhe baitha Bachcha bakwaas kar raha thaa..

Bachcha : Agar meri Maa Hathni hoti aur Baap Haathi toh main chhota Haathi hota.....

Agar meri Maa Cow aur Baap Bull hota toh main chhota Bull hota.....

Bachche se pareshaan ho kar gusse mein Driver bola : Agar teri Maa Randi aur Baap Bhadwaa hota toh Tu kya hota.....???

Bachcha : Toh main Bus Driver hota Bhosdike......!!!

Chup-chaap Bus chalaa..! Chutiya Saala..!

Minister Sahib, Hukkaaa Piyoooo

Ek Minister Pagal Khaneke Daure par tha.
Ek Pagal Bola: Minister Sahib Ek
Cigarette aur Maachis dena.
Minister ne cigarette diya aur Dr. se
bola:
doctor,ye aadmi to achhe se baat
kar raha hai...kahin se pagal
nahilagh raha hai.....
Pagal ne Cigarette Tod ke Tobacco
Apne Sir par dala
aur Machis se Aag laga di.....Phir
Apni Dhoti Utha ke, L**d Hila ke
bola:
Lo Minister Sahib, Hukkaaa Piyoooo
Hukkaaaa'!!!!!!

Mere Saath Sona Pasand Karogi

Jaisa Ki Aap Sab Jante Hai Ki Budhe Log Jinke Pass Paisa Jyada Ho Hadd Se Jyada Tharki Hote Hai

Ese Hi Ek Bahut Bade Seth Karorimal Ko Ek Ladki Pasand Aa Jati Hai Aur Vo Usk Offer Karta Hai

Seth: “Agar Tum Mere Saath Sona Pasand Karogi To Mein Tumhe 5000 Rupye Dunga”

Ladki Bhi Chalu Item Thhi Boli: “Theek Hai Seth Ji, Lekin Agar Aapne Mujhe Sone Na Diya To Main 5000 Aur Lungi“

Load Jyada Aur Voltage Kam

Ek Mota Bijli Wala Apni Biwi Ke Sath Sex Kar Raha Tha.

Par Uski Patni Khush Nahi Dikh Rahi Thhi, Kuch Der Ye Dekhne Ke Baad Usne Pucha.

Mistri: “Bolo Priye Tumhe Kya Ghum Hai?”

Patni: “Swami Ji, Load Jyada Aur Voltage Kam Hai“