BABA CHODUDAS KA UPDESH:

BABA CHODUDAS KA UPDESH:
3 Cheeze Zindagi me ek Baar milti hai

(1) LUND

(2) PAHLI CHUDAI

(3) JAWANI

3 Cheeze Soch samaj Kar Uthao

(1) LAUDA

(2) HATHODA

(3) DARU SANG SODA

3 Cheeze Soch Ke Karo

(1) PADOSAN SE CHUDAI

(2) KHET ME KHUDAI

(3) DOST KI VIDAI

3 Cheeze Kisi Ka Intezar nahi Karti

(1) RANDI KI CHOOT

(2) BIGDA HUA POOT

(3) AATA HUA MOOT

3 Cheeze Choti Na Samjo
(1) SOYA LUND

(2) AATI THUND

(3) Mutual FUND

3 Cheeze hamesa Dard deti hai

(1) KUNWARI CHOOT

(2) DAKU KI LOOT

(3) ATKA HUA MOOT

3 Cheeze hamesa apko khush rakhegi

(1) CHODNE KI KHUMARI

(2) BHOJAN KI TAIYARI

(3) MERI YARI.

see your pussy before the end of the Day.

Johnnie's father took him to class his first day of school. Johnnie's dad pulled the teacher aside and told her, Johnnie has a bad gambling problem so don't make a bet with him you can't win.
The teacher agreed. When the teacher was passing out the text books Johnny said, teach I'll make a bet with you,she replied ok what?
Johnny said I'll bet you fifty dollars I can tell you what color panties you have on.
She agreed and told him after the last bell he was to stay in the room and then he could guess.
while Johnny and the class were at recess the teacher took her panties off and put them in her purse.
When school was out Johnny stayed in the classroom and the teacher locked the door and said okay Johnny what color are they?
He replied yellow. so the teacher raised her dress and said no your wrong, I'm not wearing any. Johnny asked her to walk him out to his dads car and he would get her money.
so as Johnny passed his dad going to the car the teacher told his dad that Johnny finally got beat.
He said what do you mean she said Johnny bet me fifty dollars he could tell me what color panties I had on so I took them off.
The father replied that son of a bitch he bet me a hundred dollars he could see your pussy before the end of the Day.=)) X_X.

Ladko Ka Land

Ek Ladki Bhagwan Se Prathna Kar Rahi Thhi Aur Mang Rahi Thhi.

Ladki: “Hey Bhagwan! Please Ladko Ka L#nd Thoda Khubsoorat Banado”

Bhagwan Ji Parkat Hue Aru Gusse Se Bole.

Bhagwan Ji: “Itna Ganda Banane Par To Chooss Leti Ho, Achha Banane Par Toh Kha Hi Jaogi

For all fuckd up aashiqss

For all fuckd up aashiqss.......
Arz
kiya hai: 
Jis din un se dil laga bethe, 
Tanhai me sukun ki maa chuda bethe, 
Wo to so gyi bhenchod kisi or k bistarpe or
hum apni hi jhato me aag laga bethe !
 Pyar karna hai to nirma powder waali se karo.. 
 Pyar karna hai to nirma powder waali se karo.. 
Kyu ki wo kehti hai Pehle istemal karo phir vishwash karo !



True luv is when a Boy asks d girl
4 a kiss & Girl simply closes her
eyes & allows d boy to kiss on her
lips, But d boy kisses on d
forehead & says I hv a whole life 2
Do dat.. 
Bhai log, Yeh sab
Chutiyapa hai. Jidhar bhi mauka
mile mission poora kardena. Just
remember 'The 1 who hesitates.....
Later masturbates'.....issued in
public interest

 Kisi buzurg
MaDaRcHoD ne sahi kaha hai Ladki
ko Lavde pe bithao to tumse dil
laga legi Aur agar Ladki ko dil me
bithao to woh tumhare Lavde laga
degi.. 
Waqt kehta hai mujhe gawa mat, 
Dil kehta hai mujhe laga mat,
Pyar kehta hai mujhe aazma mat,
Aur aaj-kal ki girlfriend kehti hai,
Daal Chutiye ghabra mat

Agneefuck.. Agneefuck... Agneefuck....

Boobs ho bade bade,
Bra me ho khade khade,
Bar bar choos kar,
Khoob inko tu masal,
Par daant se tu kaat mat,
Kaat mat,

Agneefuck
Agneefuck
Agneefuck

Tu na thakega kabhi
Tu na rukega kabhi,
Roz 3 bar chodne ki,
Le Shapath
Le Shapath

Agneefuck
Agneefuck
Agneefuck,

Choot to mahaan hai,
ispe sab kurbaan hai,
Sab k basate isme praan hain,
Bana kr is choot ko hairaan hai,
Apne Virya se kar de isko,

Lathpath
Lathpath

Agneefuck
Agneefuck
Agneefuck

Coming Soon- The unknown boon

A young woman who was several months pregnant was sitting in a bus.

When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition.

She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.

She moved again and then on seeing him laughing more. She filed a court case on him.

In the court the man's defence was:-
When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was
pregnant.

She sat under an advertisement, which read "Coming Soon- The unknown boon"..

I was even more amused when she then sat under a shaving
advertisement, which read:- "William's stick did the trick"..

Then I could not control myself any longer, when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read:-

"Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident"..

The case was dismissed. The judge fell off his chair laughing :'D 

pintu ki maa chud rahi hai

Ek pati patni ko sex karna tha .. Unhone unke 5 saal ke bete ko bola " beta balcony me khade ho jaa aur coloney me kya chal raha hai wo dek ke batata reh"

Beta shru ho gaya -
"sharma ji subji laa rahe hai,
verma ji scooter start kar rahe hai,
bacche cricket khel rahe hai,
shukla ji unki dukan sambhal rahe hai,
pintu ki maa chud rahi hai.."

Baap: " tujhe kaise pata..?"

Beta: " wo bi balcony me khada hai. =))

maa chudaye jivanlal..

Grls hostel ka guard roz daru pine ke baad
gali bakta tha
mera nam jivanlal, kiski chut me kitne
baal ?

Ek ladki sunkar boli: meri chut me itne baal
ki phas jayega jivanlal. 3dino tak sunne ke
baad..

Jivanlal: goli chalegi fatak se, chut phategi
jatak se, jal jayenge sare baal, bach niklega
jivanlal !

Ladki: Surakshit kale mere baal vasmol ne
kiya kamal.
Bach jayenge mere baal, maa chudaye
jivanlal..

top ten xxx joke

1. Pappu Ka Ek Dost Tha Golu
Ek Din Dono Baatein Kar Rahe The To Golu Ne Pappu Se Puchha
Golu: “Jab Girls Car Me Seat Belt Bandhti Hain To Kaisa Dikhta Hai?”
Pappu: “Percentage Ke Symbol Jaisa %“

2. Ek aurat Dr. Se: “Mera Pati 300% Napusank Hai”
Doctor Hairan Hoke: “Arrey, Wo Kaise ?”
Aurat Rote Hue Boli: “Ek To Uska Khada Nahi Hota. Dusara Uski Ungli Bhi Tuti Hai. Teesra Kal Us Madarchod Ne Garam Garam Chai Pee Ke Apni Jibh Bhi Jala Li.“

3. Ek Moti Lady Ek Bar Bazar Mein Bra Lene Gayi, Aur Dukan Par Jake Bra Dekhne Lagi.
Dekhte Dekhte Achanak Boli: “Bhaiya, Wo Wali Bra Mere Size Ki Lagti Hai, Dikhana Zara”
Dukandar: “Maff Karna Bahanji, Wo Bra Nahi, Mere Scooter Ki Steppney Ka Cover Hai“

4. Saas Ne Bahu Se Pucha
Saas: “Bahu, Jo Naye Chawal Aaye Hai Wo Kaise Hai?”
Bahu Gusse Se: “Ekdum Aapke Bete Jaise”
Saas Haraini Se: “Kya Matlab?”
Bahu: “Bilkul, Chadhte Hi Pak Jate Hai Aur Pani Chhod Dete Hai Fir Turant Hi Utarna Padta Hai“

5. Pappu: “Mom, Aap Blouse Mein Paise Kyun Rakhti Ho?”
Mom: “Taaki Tere Papa Ko Pata Na Chale”
Pappu: “Mom Aap Bhi Na, Bechare Papa Roz Kaamwali Ke Blouse Mein Dhoondte Rahte Hai“

6. Ek Dukhi Lady Baba Ke Pas Gayi Aur Boli
Lady: “Baba Mera Pati Kab Sudhrenga?”
Baba: “Pati Ko Layi Ho?”
Lady: “Nahi.”
Baba: “Koi Baat Nahi, Apna Blouse Kholiye”
Lady: “Kyun?”
Baba: “Bachha, Pati Ki Hath Ki Rekhayein Dekhni Hai Na“

7. Apni Suhagrat Ko Pati Achhe Tarike Se Sex Kar Nahi Paya
Subha Dulhe Ki Maa Ne Bahurani Se Puchha
“Bahu, Suhagrat Kaisi Rahi?“
Bahu Udasi Se: “Maa Ji Kya Batau, Grah Parvesh To 2 Baar Hua, Par Grah Shanti Nahi Ho Paayi“

8. Girl Hostel Me Ek Phone Aaya – “Meena Hai Kya?”
Warden Ne Pucha – “Piche Kya Lagati Hai Wo?”
Phone Wala – “Ab Tho Pata Nahi Ji Par Pehle Sarson Ka Tel Lagati Thi“

9. Ek Bar Husband Apni Wife Ke Sath Apni Sasural Mein Gaya
Ek Din Vahan Husband Ne Biwi Se Kaha: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain”
Biwi Boli: “Nahi Ye Mere Baap Ka Ghar Hai”
Husband: To Kya Mere Baap Ka Ghar Red Light Area Hai Jo To Roz Taiyar Ho Jati Hai.

A Naked Lady Ran

A Nak*d Lady Ran Into A Taxi.
She Told The Driver Where She Is Going
Driver Didn't Start The Car But He Kept On
Starring At The Lady.
Lady: What Are You Looking Man?

Haven't You See A Nak*d Woman Before?
Driver: I'm Not Looking At Your Nak*dness,
I Was Just Wondering Where
You Kept The Money That Your Going To Pay Me.

Hath se pakad rakha hai

Pinto ko su su karte dekhkar Ladki doosre raste se jane lagi, 

Pinto bola: Dar mat re pagli, Jisase tu dar rahi ho usko maine apne Hath se pakad rakha hai!=)) :D =D :p