CID KA ACP tha toilet me..

Exam tha sar par aur bachonne padhna chor diya...

Wah Wah..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Exam tha sar par aur bachonne parna chor diya..
.
.
.
CID KA ACP tha toilet me..

Aur DAYA ne darwaza tod diya..:p

stands up, picks her up, & kisses her

Boy: are you ready babe?.
Girl; yeah, im nervous though.
Boy; dont be nervous itll be okay.
Girl: what if they dont like me?
Boy: my parents wont like you.Girl: what.?
boy: theyll love you baby, stop being so insecure, youre beautiful & you have amazing personality.
Girl: awhh, ready to go?
boy: i need to ask you something first.
Girl: hmm?
boy: *got on his knees* i dont want to take my girlfriend to meet my parents, i want to take my fiance. Will you marry me?
girl: omg. Yess.
Boy: *stands up, picks her up, & kisses her*

moka or zaroorat

Girl:
Agar mauka mila to tum mujhse shadi karoge…??.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy:
Agar mauka mil gaya to phir shadi
karne ki kya zaroorat hai...!

sone par loan

Aaj fir santa ne kamal kr diya
.
.
.
.
Bank me jake so gya
.
.
.
.
kyon???
.
.
.
Kyunki
.
.
.
Usne Board par padha tha
.
.
.
.
Yaha SONE par LOAN milta hai :-D :-D

Kaminey dost WTF!!!!!!

Kaminey dost:

Boy: agar wo meri nahi huyi to main
use kisi or ki bhi nahi hone dunga!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Friends: Aur agar teri ho gayi to sabki
hone dega?? :) :)

WTF tumhi ho???????

tum hi ho
tum hi ho
GHANTA tum hi ho bc
jha dekho tum hi ho,tum hi ho
saala fb pe page ban gya 12 lakh + likes aa gye
kaam waali bai bhi gaa rhi h tum hi ho, ab tum
hi ho
sabji wala sabji chodke gaa rha h
meri aashiqui ab tu hi ho
wtf ^-^
dimag khaa rkha h iss gaane ne mhine se
jale pe namk chidak rha h
har page har kisi ka status
tum hi ho bas tum hi ho
abe tu h koun

FACTS about IPL 6

FACTS about IPL 6  (Made By Me)

RCB can't defend even 200

SRH can't score even 120

CSK can chase even 240

RR - 'Rajinikanth' in Jaipur

SRH can defend even 100

RCB = Royal Chris Bengalore

PWI = 263 runs :P khikhikhi..

CSK - Plays with 15 guyz (9 batsman 6 bowlers)

MI = Unluckiest team ( Chokers)

KXIP = K3G (Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham)

KKR = KKBG (Kabhi Khushi Bohot Gham)

DD = No Comments :P

dulhe ko hi rona he

Behan Ki vidaai Mein Uska Chhota Bhai Bola;
" Papa, didi Roo Rahi Hain, Dulha To Nahi Roo Raha. . "
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Papa; Beta, didi to sirf GATE tak Rooyengi . .
uske bad to sirf dulhe ko hi rona he.

Smart propose by a boy

Smart propose by a boy to his girl friend..
.
.
He wrote on a paper -
"will u marry me...??"
.
.
And gave 3 options to girl,
.
A- Yes
.
B- A
.
C- B

Fucking Robot

Baap Ne Ek Robot Liya, Jo Jhuth
Bolne Pe Phappad Marta Tha.
Beta Ghar Aaya..
Baap: kaha gaya tha
Beta: dost ke ghar
Baap: kya kar rha tha
Beta: movie dekh rha tha
Baap: konsi?
Beta: english
Robot slaps the boy
Baap: batao konsi wali?
Beta: ok!! Porn!!
Baap: main jab tumhari umar ka
tha tab mujhe porn ka matlab bhi
nai pata tha
Robot slaps the man!!
Mom: Aakhir Aapka hi to beta
hai!! haha
Robot slaps the woman.. :-D :-D

FUCKING PRICE By A Girl

Maine Poocha; Darling Keemat Kya Hai Tujhe Paane Ki?

Aur Uss Behen Ki Laudi Ne Poori Rate-List Hi Thama Di.

Kameez Utaarne Ke Rs.50.
Salwar Utaarne Ke Rs.90.
Bra Utaarne Ke Rs.150.
Panty Utaarne Ke Rs.350.
Nange Badan Par Letne Ke Rs.400.
Kiss Karne Ke Rs.300.
Hilaane Ke Rs.500.
Nipple Choosne Ke Rs.800.
Choot Chaatne Ke Rs.1000.
Chodne Ke Rs.1500.
Gaand Maarne Ke Rs.1750.
Aur Phir Bhosdi Wali Boli
Sirf Aapke Liye 5%Discount Kyunki Aap Naye Grahak Hai.:p

he proposed me&I rejected.

Wife:"Look at that Drunker!
Hubby:"Who is he ??
Wife:"10 years back he proposed me&I rejected..
.
.
.
.
.
Hubby: Oh My God, He is still Celebrating.. ­ -:D
Wow... ;-)) 

Top 9 Funny Shops

Top 9 Funny Shops:
.
1. Gandhi hair salon
2. Mallika texlies
3. Jayalalita Fitness club
4. Dharmendra dance academy
5. Mayawati beauty parlour
6. Inzamam english classes
7. Manmohan public speak
8. Salman marriage bureau
9. Rakhi Satsang kendra:l

FAther with son

An American Family- Youngest Son: Dad, whats d diff btwn
                                                   'hypothetically' & 'reality'?
Dad turns to wife: Would u sleep with Tom cruise for 1 million?
Wife: Of course! I would never waste such an opportunity.
Then Dad asks daughter: Would u sleep with Tom cruise for 1 Million?
Daughter: Yes He s my fantasy!
Dad asks elder son: Would u sleep with, Tom cruise for 1 million?
Elder Son: Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money!
Father turns to his younger son: You see son, 'Hypothetically' 
 we r sitting with 3 millionaires, but in 'Reality' we r living with 2
prostitutes & 1 gay Bastard!!!!

FAther with son

An American Family- Youngest Son: Dad, whats d diff btwn
                                                   'hypothetically' & 'reality'?
Dad turns to wife: Would u sleep with Tom cruise for 1 million?
Wife: Of course! I would never waste such an opportunity.
Then Dad asks daughter: Would u sleep with Tom cruise for 1 Million?
Daughter: Yes He s my fantasy!
Dad asks elder son: Would u sleep with, Tom cruise for 1 million?
Elder Son: Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money!
Father turns to his younger son: You see son, 'Hypothetically' 
 we r sitting with 3 millionaires, but in 'Reality' we r living with 2
prostitutes & 1 gay Bastard!!!!

height of fashion with girl's intelligance

1st match we failed 4 just 2runs

but now v reply back with 56 xtra runs

thatz mi...

height of fashion
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A 3 Yers Old baby telling his mom:

" "Mom, Pamper zara neechay baandhna, Dashing lOok aata hai...  

LADKI IN ATM COUNTER
The ATM machine
jammed
(stopped working)
because of...
.
.
.
.
.
An intelligent girl put
herhair pin
in the machine when
option was
to.."Enter Your PIN"

:P :) :P :) :P

Wt You Think about That Is This True Or False

WIKI Published 1st List of black money holders in SWISS bank......
The Top Most 13
(money is in CRORES)

Rajiv Gandhi(19800)
A Raja(7800)
Harshad Mehta(135800)
Ketan Parekh(8200)
HD Kumarswamy(14500)
Lalu Prasad Yadav(28900)
J M Scindia(9000)
Kalanidi Maran(15000)
Karunanidi(35000)
Sharad Pawar(28000)
Suresh Kalmadi(5900)
Chidhambaram(32000)
Raj foundation(189008)

Wt You Think about That Is This True Or False

WIKI Published 1st List of black money holders in SWISS bank......
The Top Most 13
(money is in CRORES)

Rajiv Gandhi(19800)
A Raja(7800)
Harshad Mehta(135800)
Ketan Parekh(8200)
HD Kumarswamy(14500)
Lalu Prasad Yadav(28900)
J M Scindia(9000)
Kalanidi Maran(15000)
Karunanidi(35000)
Sharad Pawar(28000)
Suresh Kalmadi(5900)
Chidhambaram(32000)
Raj foundation(189008)

WTF engineering

7 chatai par 7 sadhu baithe theBoy ne
 sadhu se pucha:"baba engineering kar li hai,aage kya karu ??"

sadhu (dusre sadhu se):".........1 chatai aur laga bhai k liye... :

WTF OFF OF WIFE

A man with a gun went into a bank and
demanded their money. Once he was 
given the money, he turned to a customer
 and asked, "Did you see me rob this bank?" 

The man replied, "Yes sir, I did." 
The robber then shot him in the temple, 
killing him instantly. 
He then turned to a couple standing next 
to him and asked the woman, 
"Did you see me rob this bank?" 

The woman replied, "No sir, 
                 I didn't, but my husband did."

IPAD

Friend asked his dad for an iPad. He got it the next day.

I asked my dad for an iPad. I got an iThapPad instantly

Rajnikant V/s CID Jokes
Let me die the moment my love dies....
Let me not outlive my own capacity to love....
Let me die still loving, and so, never die....

Rajnikant V/s CID Jokes
Difference between a woman's argument and a knife is - the knife has a point !! X_X =))  \=D/ =)) =)) :]xx  ...=)) 

NEW JOKE

Hum roz kitne faltu joke karte hai
Ek msg kissi ke bhale ke Liye DUWA chahiye
...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Maine aaj ek dozen Aam kharida hai, Plzzz Duwa karna mitha nikle  

Sala usi ke liye pareshan

True lines:
Our heart is the greatest
haramkhor in d world.. .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Sala usi ke liye pareshan
rahega, jo bhav nahi deti...... 
    

both is called a WIFE

TWO DIFFICULT THINGS TO ACHIEVE::
1) To plant your ideas in someone else's head.
2) To put someone else's money in your own pocket.

The one who succeeds in the First is called a TEACHER and the one who succeeds in the Second is called a POLITICIAN.

The one who succeeds in both is called a WIFE.
The one who fails in both is called the HUSBAND.

Pappu China Ke Tour Pe Gaya

Pappu China Ke Tour Pe
Gayatha
Waha Usne Ek X-ray Chashma
Liya.
,
Chashma Lagane Se Har Koi
Nanga Nazar
Aata Tha :P
,
Pappu Ghar Aaya To Wife Ko
Apne Ek Dost
Ke Sath Apne Bed Pe Nanga
Dekha,
,
Usne Foran Chashme Ko
Utara,
,
Phir Bhi Dono Nange Nazar
Aaye,
,
Pappu Gusse Se Chashma
Fenkta Hua Bola:
Ye Hi Musibat Hai China Ke
Saman Ki,
Koi Guarranty Nahi Hoti,
Jaldi Kharab Ho Jati Hai
Ha Ha Ha 

imran hashami

Ek din imran hashami ek bar
me beer ka mug
le kar baitha hua muskura
raha tha..
.
Ranbir:" Bada muskura raha
hai tu bhai..
Baat kya hai.. ??
.
.
Imran:" Kal machhli
pakadne gaya tha main..
Nadi kinaare genliya mili..
Usko Nadi paar karni thi..
Maine usko apni boat me
bithaya aur beech
nadi me boat rok di aur usko
kaha,
.
.
"YA TO MUJHE kiss kar LE,
YA PAANI ME KOOD JA.."
.
.
Aur us bechari ko tairna nahi
aata tha..
Tu to jaanta hai boat me
paani ki lehron k bich
kissing ka maje hi alag hai..
.
Ranbir:" Gazab kismat hai teri
filmi parde pe
kya to tu real me bhi kisi ko
nhi chorrta
Agle din imran hashmi usi
barme usi table par
beer
ka mug le kar baitha hua..
.
jor jor se ro raha tha..
Ranbir:" Ye 'c' grade ki satai
huì heroien jaisa
muh bana k kyu ro raha
hai.. ??
.
Imran:" Kal fir se machhli
pakadne gaya tha
main..
.
Nadi kinaare ek english ladki
mili.. Usko bhi
Nadi
paar karni thi..
Maine usko apni boat me
bithaya aur beech
nadi me boat rok di aur usko
kaha,
"YA TO MUJHSE Kiss kar LE,
YA PAANI ME KOOD
JA.."
Usne kaha i m ready but kiss
k alawa bhi
tumhe
aur bhi bhaut kuch karna
hoga...
.
.
Aur itna kehte hi usne apni
nakli wig utari ...
Mere to tote udd gaye..
Wo sala justin biber nikla...
Aur TAIRNA MUJHE BHI NAHI
AATA
THA"...:p :O :D

On Dimand

hinki Ki Friend Ne Ek Din Us
Se Puchha. Friend: Why Do
Boys Run Faster Than Girls?
Chinki: Because Boys Have
Ball Bearings Between Their
Legs To Reduce Friction




A boys calls her ex
Boy : hey i jus saw a muvie, it
reminded me of u......miss u
Gal : awwwww .....even i miss
u......kaunsi muvie dekhi?
Boy : ek thi daayan :p =D

Sardar chutiya mat banao

Gabbar - 6 Goli Aur Aadmi 3,
Bahut Nainsafi hai re .
.
Sambha : Sardar chutiya mat
banao,koi nainsafi nahi hai, 3
Aadmiyo Ki 6 Goliya Hi Hoti
hai

VOL. 7,NISHA K GAAND ME LAAT

☺ ''VOL. SAAT,NISHA K GAAND ME LAAT'' ☺

Ek din ki kahani sunata hu,nisha ki kahani batata hu.
target ka tha wo last din,nisha aa gai bra k bin.
hmlog ne uska nipple dekha,uspe maine chewing gum pheka.
nisha ka nipple hmlog ko raha tha ghur,mere hath se wo tha thoda durr.
maine hath badhaya,or nisha k nipple me apna daant garaya.
maine nisha se kaha aao hum khelenge,to nisha ne kaha ki nahi aap hame pelenge.
Maine use kaha ki ye to pyar ki kasauti hai,to usne kaha ki nahi meri choot bahut choti hai.
Ispe maine ne kaha ki dekh mere dil me tere liye kitna pyar bhara hai,to nisha ne kaha ki nhi aapka bohot der se khada hai.
anand ne kaha rundi jada bhav mat kha,
chup chap mera lund chaba.
chodenge tumko khara kar k khatiya,koi nhi ukhar payega mera jhatiya.
nisha bhot dar gai,or hmlog ko laga ki wo bechari mar gai.
par wo mari nhi thi...bas thora sa dari thi.
Aniket ne apna lund nikala,or fat se nisha k bur me daala.
Aasman me ud rha tha keera,aniket ne bhot der choda...fir v uska mooth nhi gira.
to vishal ne kaha...maar gandu mooth kas-kar ke,niklega tera tel fas-fas ke.
Abhishek backlash sene dekh k apna paint khol liya,
chodne se pehle apna lund dho liya.
Chodna tha usko raat bhar,par lund khara hoye na jhat bhar.
Kishan ne bola mera lund lo,ye tumhara husn nikhar dega,to nisha dar k boli ki nhi ye mera chut+gand dono faar dega.
Usne bola aao khele hath me le k,chut me le le,or muh me pele.
Ravikant ne bhi ek tip liya,or sath-sath chori ki planning kiya.
Prince ki halat to dekho jaise kabr me para hai,haddiya dikh rhi hai...par lund fir v khara hai.
vishal k lund k neeche do bubble tha,
or uska lund backlash k height k double tha.
jab sab log nisha k bur me dant kaat rha tha,us samay ritick pedigree chat rha tha.
Aniket ne daat k bola....ritick tujhe nisha j bur me daalna hoga.
mai tera dad hu,tujhe mera baat maanna hoga.
At last nisha target k gate k pas ro rhi thi,apne bur se sperm dho rhi thi.
NISHA KHADI BEECH BAAZAR,ZOR-ZOR SE ROYE...
U KNOW WHY...???
NISHA KHADI BEECH BAAZAR,ZOR-ZOR SE ROYE...
GAND MAAR K CHAL DIYA,
PAISA DIYA NA KOYE. !! :p

Chodne Ka Mazza

College Mein Ek Ladke Ne
Chinki Ko Dekha Aur Bola.
Ladka: “Janeman Aajkal To
Fuddi (Choot) Ki Badi
Demand Ho Gayi Hai”
Chinki: “Beta Ye Aur Bhi Jyada
Hoti, Agar Tum Ladke Gaand
Marwana Shuru Na Karte“






Aunty: Mujhe Chodo Naa..
Ladka: Nahin.. Tum Bahut
Moti Ho..
Aunty: Abey Behanchod..
Chicken Ka Mazza
Boti Mein Aur Chodne Ka
Mazza Moti Mein
Hain..!

Fuck Fuck Fuckak Fuckaakakakak

Pappu Ki Girlfriend Pinky Ek Din Pappu Se Puchti Hai
Pinky: “ Jab Ek Murgha Murghi KaRape Karne Ki Koshish Karta Hai To Murghi Kya Kehti Hai? ”
Pappu: “ Fuck Fuck Fuckak Fuckaakakakak “

Chaddi Papa Se Hi Utarwati Hai

Class Mein Teacher Bachho Se Kuch Alag-Alag Sawaal Puch Rahi Thi, Pappu Ki Baari Aati Hai,
Teacher Pappu Se: “ Tumhare Ghar Mein Sabse Chhota Kaun Hai? ”
Pappu Haste Hue: “ Hamari Naukarani ”
Teacher Hairani Se: “ Wo Kaise??? ”
Pappu: “ Wo Is Liye Ki Har Baar Wo Apni Chaddi Papa Se Hi Utarwati Hai “

Aapka Sex Network Fail

Shadi Ke Kuch Time Baad Ek Din Sex Karte Time Patni Pati Se Pyar Se Boli
Patni: “ Aap Bilkul Mobile Jaise Ho ”
Pati Garv Se: “ Sachi, Tumhe MeriVibration Achhi Lagti Hai? ”
Patni: “ Nahi, Basement Mein Jaate Hi Aapka Network Fail Ho Jata Hai “

Chal Gand Marwa

Ladka Ladki Se Bola: “ Main Tumse Pyaar Karta Hoon ”
Ladki: “ Ha-Ha ”
Ladka: “ Main Tumhare Liye Mar Jaunga ”
Ladki: “ Ha Ha Ha ”
Ladka: “ Main Tumhari Activa Ki Tanki Har Hafte Petrol Se Full Karva Diya Karunga .
Ladki: “ Waah, Sach Kasam Se?? ”
Ladka: “ Hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha Chal Gand Marwa “