Kal Raat To Hadd Hi Ho Gayi

Suhagrat Ke Agle Din Pati Patni Ke Kamre Mein Se Suni Gayi Kuch Baatein
Pati: “ Ab Kaisa Feel Kar Rahi Ho? ”
Patni: “Kal Raat To Hadd Hi Ho Gayi,
Uff Do Ghante,
Meri To Jaan Hi Nikal Gayi,
Saare Kapde Geele Ho Gaye,
Pehle To Ek Ghanta Karte The,
Magar Kal To Poore Do Ghante Tak Saans Hi Nahi Aayi,
Ek Ghanta Bhi Bahut Tha,
Ye Do Ghante Ka Bijli Ka Cut To Jaan Hi Nikal Leta Hai 

Daant Nipple Mein Fasa Hai

Ek Lady Doctor Ke Pass Gayi Aur Apni Kamij Aur Fir Bra Utar Ke Uske Saamne Beth Gayi
Doctor Ne Ye Dekha Aur Gusse Se Bola
Dr. “Ye Kya Badtameezi Hai, Main Dentist Hu”
Lady: “Haan Haan Mujhe Pata Hai.. Main Bhi Daant Hi Nikalwane Aayi Hu, Nipple Mein Fasa Hai“ 

Danda Apni Gaand Mein Dal Lo

Santa Aur Uska Beta Pappu Dono Ne Socha Ki Aaj Kisi Ka
Chutiya Kaat Te Hai Pappu Ne Phone Se Ek Number Milaya Aur Pucha:
“Kahan Ka Number Hai?” 
Jawab Aya: “Police Station Ka.” 
Pappu: “Ap Ke Paas Danda Hai?”
Inspector: “Haan Hai!” 
Pappu:“To Use Apni Gaand Mein Dal Lo” 
Aur Itna Kah Ke Phone Kaat Deta Hai


Inspector Ne Thodi Der Socha Aur Fir Gusse Se Us Number Pe Phone
Kiya Inspector: “Yaha Se Ek Phone Phone Aaya Tha.” 
Santa: “Fir?” 
Inspector: “Mujh Se Puchha Aap Ke Pass Danda Hai.
 Maine Haan Kaha To Usne Bola Gand Me Daal Lo.” 

Santa: “Achha? Kitni Der Pehle Phone Aya Thha?” 
Inspector: “Koi 10 Minutes Pahle” 
Santa: “To Fir Ab Nikaal
LO

Ek Hi Balti Mein Mutar Visarjan“

Class Mein Teacher Bachho Se Puchti Hai
Teacher: “Aisa Konsa Kam Hai To 5 Ladke To Ek Saath Kar Sakte Hai Par 5 Ladkiya Kabhi Nahi Kar Sakti”
Kisi Ko Jawab Na Aya, Tabi Achanak Bachho Ke Bich Mein Se Ek Chota Sa Haath Khada Hua, Ye Haath Tha Santa Ke Bete Pappu Ka
Pappu: “Madam Ji Main Batau”
Madam: “Batao?”
Pappu: “Madam Ji, Vo Kam Hai – Ek Hi Balti Mein Mutar Visarjan“

Girls Sit On Boys Lap.

Three Girls Take Lift In A Car Full Of Young Engineers.
Since No Place, They Sit On Boys Lap.
After 10 Minutes.

Girl1: “ Are You Ece Engineer? ”
Boy1: “ How Do You Know? ”
Girl1: “ Your Tower Is Communicating With My Unreachable Area ”

Girl2: “ Are You Computer Engineer? ”
Boy2: “ How Do You Know? ”
Girl2: “ Your Pendrive Is Trying To Connect With My Usb Drive ”


Girl3: “ Are You Mechanical Engineer? ”
Boy3: “ How Do You Know? ”
Girl3: “ Your Piston Is Trying To Move In To My Cylinder “

Pati-Patni Blue Film Dekh Rahe Thhe

Pati-Patni Blue Film Dekh Rahe Thhe, Achank Patni Ne Puccha.
Patni: “ Aap Us Aadmi Ki Tarah Itni Jayada Der Tak Kyu Nahi Karte ? ”
Pati: “ Pagli Wo Uski Patni Nahi Hai Na, Tu Apni Bahan Se Puchh Ke To Dekh. “

Serve Hot Without Any Dressing

Preeto Bina Kapde Pahne Hi Mahmano Ko Halwa Parosne Aa Jati Hai,
Santa: “ Besharam, Tu Hosh MeinTo Hai? ”
Preeto: “ Oji, Recipe Book Mein Likha Tha Serve Hot Without Any Dressing “

Bina L.nd Ke Bhi Vo Mard Ki Gand Maar Sakti Hai

Baba Saxidas Ke Anusaar Aurat Puri Karishmo Se Bhari Padi Hai Aur Unhone Aurat Ke Do Khas Krishme Apne Bhakto Ko Bataye Hai
Aurat Bina Ghas Khaye Doodh Deti Hai .
Aur Bina L.nd Ke Bhi Vo Mard Ki Gand Maar Sakti Hai .

Aaj To Mein Teri Maa Chod Dunga

Santa Ka Beta Pappu Daru Pee Raha Tha
Achanak Santa Ne Usko Peete Dekh liya Aur Gusse Se Bola
Santa: “ Ruk Bhonsdi Ke, Aaj To Mein Teri Maa Chod Dunga ”
Pappu Nashe Mein: “ To Aur Roj Kya Mohalle Wale Chodte Hain “

No sister, it's fine

A man was walking in rain*.. 
A sweet lady: "Why don't you come share my umbrella?"
Man: "No sister, it's fine." 
(And he walked away)

Moral: 
Moral voral kuch nahi! Piche biwi aa rahi thi! :P

Delhi wali girlfriend

So there is a song "Delhi wali girlfriend" in yeh jawani hai deewani , now waiting for a song with lyrics like 
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"Bhopal wala Gopal" !! :)

Engineer's wife delivered a baby!!!

Engineer's wife delivered a baby!!!
Wife sends sms:" 'Your circuit design came out :)
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Husband smiled and replied:" With antenna or without antenna.. :p




You Can See The Sun In This Pic hahahahahah..........

Jab unki maa chudi.

Santa ne 1st year ka exam diya aur usko jail ho gayi. 
Kyun? 
Paper mein sawaal tha ki:- Nehruji kab paida huve?
Santa ne jawaab likha:- Jab unki maa chudi.

sasural me biwi se: aaj sex ho jaye.

Husband apne sasural me biwi se: aaj sex ho jaye..

Biwi: Nahi hum papa ke ghar hai..

Hus:To kya mere BAAP ka ghar Randikhana hai jo roz taiyar ho jati hai...!

2 ghante tak girlfriend ke saath sex

Viagra ki 5 goli khakar 2 ghante tak girlfriend ke saath sex karne ke baad...

Santa bola: "Ab tum 3 ghante mujhe dekh nahi paogi"

GF: "Kyun? Kahin ja rahe ho kya?"

Santa: "Nahi janu, Ab palat jao"..

Bhumi-Pujan

Suhag raat mein.
BUILDER: Tere hoth Duplex jaise hain, figure Landscape Garden ki tarah hai.
WIFE: Ab Bhumi-Pujan bhi karoge ya mazdoor bulaun.

A man lives with only 2 problems

Super one 

A man lives with only 2 problems 1st Half: Ye saala itna khada kyun hota hai? 
2nd Half: Ye saala aaj-kal khada kyun nahi hota?"=)) >=) =)) >=) =)) >=) =)) >=) =)) >=) =)) >=) =)) >=) =)) >=)

Oye BEHENCHOD ITNA BADA...ITNA BADA..

Pesh-e-khidmat ek gazal...

Kal chodne ki raat thi,
Sab ne kia apna khada,
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Kuchh ne kaha...
mera bada,
Kuchh ne kaha...
uska bada
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Hum b wahin maujood the

Hum chup rahe,

Bas hans diye,

Jab hum ne
kiya apna khada

( ' )
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('.') / /
<\"\( ) )
_/\_

Sab ne kaha:

Oye BEHENCHOD
ITNA BADA...ITNA BADA..
:p◦°◦:p◦°◦:p◦°◦:p :p◦°◦:p◦°◦:p◦°◦:p :p◦°◦:p◦°◦:p◦°◦:p :p◦°◦:p◦°◦:p◦°◦:p

Aah Aah Aahhh F*** me

Teacher asks students about sound made by animals

Teacher: Dog

Student : Bark

Teacher : Cat

Student : Meow

Teacher : Lion

Student : Aah Aah Aahhh F*** me

Teacher : I said Lion not "Leone"

Student : Oh teri

FUCK OFF AMERICA

In a New York sidewalk, an Indian is enjoying a hearty breakfast "Coffee, croissants, toast, butter, jam, etc"

While an American, chewing a gum, sat next to him and started an unwanted conversation.

American: You Indians eat the whole bread?
Indian: Ofcourse!
American: (Blowing bubbles with his gum) we don't. We, Americans only eat what's inside. The crust we collect in a container, recycle, make these into croissants and sell these to India.
American: Do you eat jam with bread?
Indian: Ofcourse!
American: (Chuckling and crackling his gum between his teeth)
We don't.
Americans eat fruits at breakfast, put all the peels, seeds leftovers into containers, turn these into jam and sell it to India.

Indian: Do you have sex in America?
American: Ofcourse, we do!
Indian: What do you do with the condoms?
American: We throw them, of course!
Indian: We don't. In India, we put them into containers, recycle them, turn them into chewing gums and sell it to America!

Apni Khushi Ke Liye Kisi Ki Maa Nahi Chod Raha....

Sex Karte Hue Biwi Ko Shaq Hua Ki Bacha Jaag Raha Hai,
Biwi Ne Husband Ko Bola To Usne Bache Ko Doosre Kamre Mein Lita Diya,
Sex Karne Ke Baad Jab Husband Vapis Bache Ko Lene Gaya To Dekha Ki Bachha Mutth Mar Raha Hai
Husband Gusse Se: “ Oyee, Ye Kya Kar Raha Hai Tu? ”
Bachha Guuse Se Bola: “ Apna Kaam Apne Haath Se Kar Raha Hu, Apni Khushi Ke Liye Kisi Ki Maa Nahi Chod Raha....

Sasur Ne Soyi Bahu Ke Boobs Dabaye

Raat Ko Andhere Ka Fayda Utha Kar Sasur Ne Soyi Bahu
Ke Boobs Dabaye To Bahu Chilla Kar Boli

“Ye Aap Kya Kar Rahe
Hain, Sharam Nahi Aati”

Sasur Ghabra Ke: “Maaf Karna
Bahu, Andhere Mein Mujhe Laga Tumhari Saas Hai ”
Bahu Gusse Se: “Bhonsdi Ke, Tujhe Uble Hue Ande
Aur Omlet Mein Faraq Nahi Pata Chalta Kya? “ xD ;)) :p =D

GAAND JAL JAYEGI...

Kindly pass this msg to all ur friends who have two wheelers

Don't park ur 2 wheelers in direct sun-light, Bcoz..
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Summer Hai.. 
GAAND JAL JAYEGI...=D =))<=-P

Sex Code Rakha: 'KAPDE DHONA'

Couple Ne Sex Code Rakha: 'KAPDE DHONA'
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Pati:Kapde Dhone Hain,
Washing Machine Khali Hai kya?
Biwi:Nahi
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kuch der baad
Biwi: Machine Tayar Hai
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Pati: rehne do.... maine
Hath Se Dho Liye... =D ;)) :x :p :p

Ek maheena ruk ja haraamzaadi

Ek jungle mein sare male janwar female janwaar ko 24 ghante chodte rahte the.. !!

Saari female jaanwar mil ke Brahmaji ke pass gayi aur vardaan mangaa ke kam se kam ek mahiney ke liye chudai se mukti miley !

Bramhaji ne SAB male janwaron ke laudey kaat ke unko token de diye aur boley ki ek mahiney ke baad token lanaa aur apna-apna lund le jaana.. !

Shaam ke time Bandar ped pe baitha tha..

Bandariya ne usey chedtey hue kaha:
"Chod
saaley,
bhenchod ! Ab chod naa mujhe"?

Bandar kuch nahi bola.

Bandariya fir boli"Chod na Bhadve, chod na behen ke laudey.."!!

Bandar ne ek choti si smile di aur bola:
"Ek maheena ruk ja haraamzaadi ! Maine Haathi ka token churaya hai..."!!!

panchi pinjre se azad ho gaye...

Class me baithi ladki ki bra ka huk "TAK" ki Aawaz ke sath toot gya.
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Techar-kya hua?
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Piche baitha ldka bola
Do panchi pinjre se
azad ho gaye...
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Pakdu kya. ?

G.A.A.N.D.U. and C.H.O.D.U

When a lady tells you that you are 
Great,
Attractive, 
Articulate, 
Nice, 
Dynamic, 
Understanding ....

means G.A.A.N.D.U.

and

when she says You are...
Charming,
Handsome,
Optimistic,
Dashing,
Unbelievable,

means you know what..:

Fuckked up sayeri

sarfira shayar ek saadi ki mehfil mei dulhan se.....

naazo se pali ho, sasural ja rhi ho.....

waah waah....

naazo se pali ho, sasural ja rhai ho....

patak patak k chodega madarchood bekar muskura rahi ho.......



Lund pe aitbaar kisko hai...

Mil jaaye chodney ko, to inkar kis ko hai...

Kuch mushkilen hai choot paane mei dost,

Warna muth marne se pyaar kisko hai...



Tufaano mei chhatri nahi kholi jaati

Bra se pehle panty nahi kholi jaati

Viagra khana shuru kar pyaare

Kyunki zubaan aur Ungli se ladki nahi chodi jaati!!




Arz kiya hai...


Rajwade mei ud rahe the Ghode,

Rajwade mei ud rahe the Ghode,

Dhyan se kya pad raha hai be Lode,

kabhi dekhe hai udte hue Ghode



Arz hai..

Us ne honton Se chuu kar lowde pe Nasha kar diya!.

Lund ki baat to aur thi Yaron us Ne to jhaton ko bhi khada kar diya.



phool murjhate achhe nahi lagte..
Aap lund khujate achhe nahi lagte.....

koi to pata lo, ab meri jaan....

Roj roj bathroom me hilaate achhe nahi lagte.



Unki gali se guzre,to chaubara nazar aaya,

unki gali se guzre,to chaubara nazar aaya,

uski Maa bahar aa k boli-
gand faad dungi bhosdi k jo dobara nazar aya..



Aaj Uska Dil Phir 'DUKHA' Diya Humne,

Apne Pyar Ka Karz 'CHUKA' Diya Humne.

De kar Lalach Use 'ICE-CREAM' Ka,

Andhere Me Apna "LUND" chusa Diya Humne...




Dil todne ki saja nahi milti,

Dil tutne ki wajah nahi milti,

MAAL to bahut fass jaate hai mere dost...

Bas unhey thokne ki jagah nahi milti....!




Kutubminar ko dekhker lokesh ka dimag dauda.

Kutubminar ko dekhker lokesh ka dimag dauda
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aasmaan ko chodne chala dhrti ka loda...



Dena Hai Lund Daan Me,

Dena Hai lund Daan Me,

"AE Dost" Hai Koi CHOOT Dhyaan Mei?



Agar nahi hai to yeh Gum ka Ghoot Bhi pee lenge

teri gaand mar k hi jee lenge



Dilbar k hamne pyar se jo bobe daba diye.

zara gour farmaiye.

dilbar k hamne pyar se jo bobe daba diye.

Bhen ki lodi ne laat mar ke humare GOTE suja diye.

when we have Maturity

Maturity is not when we start speaking big things. 

Its when we start understanding small things.... Like: chut, loda, fudi, jhaant, gaand, boobs etc

computer gujarati version

Vicharo computer koi surti gujarati ae banavyu hot to??

welcome - aav loda...

click here - le dabav chodya.

close karte waqt msg - maa chodava kholelu?

cancel - na kholvu hoyto maa chodava ja.

error msg in program-bhosdina sidhi rite lakh.

minimize - nano kar.

maximize - moto kar.

close - bandh kar.

warning msg - jo have karyu to tari gaand mari daiss...

Insert cd - marama nakh.....

And the best...

Shutdown - bas loda thaki gayo... Chal nikal
bhosdina..

BOBLO Chuse hai

Conductor- bache ka ticket??? 
Rajasthani lady- iiko b ticket lage
Hai K??
Conductor - Ha Lage Hai...

Raj Lady: Arey... Magar... Yo to abhi bi maro BOBLO Chuse hai.

Conductor: Arey BOBLO to iiko baap bhi chuse hai, to uke b free me bithau k baavri.???

Don’t Ask What Is That?

Maths Teacher -

Dinesh tere pas 6 Lollipop hai..

2 Neha ne chus liy,
3 Pooja ne,
1 Priya ne..

Toh tere pas kitne bacha..

Dinesh: "Lawda bacha! Wo AAP chooslo....





Boy & Girl on First Date..

Girl:"kitna seedha hai..
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Boy:"kya maal hai.. :p
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Girl:"nice behaviour..
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Boy:"kash pat jaye..
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Girl:"dressing sense zabardast hai.
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Boy:"skirt, top mein aur hot lagegi.
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Girl:"agar razi ho gaya toh isise shadi karungi..
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Boy:"bas 1 baar haa karde mujhe konse shadi karni
hai. . 


Romance In Easy Way

1. Hand In Hand

2. That In Hand

3. Hand In That

4. That In Mouth

5. Mouth In That

6. That In That

Now Don’t Ask What Is That?

gand marne ki zarurat

Child(dog sex dekh k): Papa ye kutta kya kar raha hai?

Dad:Beta wo kutiya ko kuch samjha raha hai. 

Child:Aaram se bhi samjha sakta hai,gand marne ki kya zarurat?

Har Ladki Ko Apni Choot Par Naaz Hota Hai

Har Panty Ki Khushbhu Ka Ek Raaz Hota Hai,

Ladki Ki Bra Ko Utarne Ka Ek Andaaz Hota Hai,

Jab Tak Thokar Na Lage Kisi Ke Lund Ki,

Har Ladki Ko Apni Choot Par Naaz Hota Hai.

BABA CHODUDAS KA UPDESH:

BABA CHODUDAS KA UPDESH:
3 Cheeze Zindagi me ek Baar milti hai

(1) LUND

(2) PAHLI CHUDAI

(3) JAWANI

3 Cheeze Soch samaj Kar Uthao

(1) LAUDA

(2) HATHODA

(3) DARU SANG SODA

3 Cheeze Soch Ke Karo

(1) PADOSAN SE CHUDAI

(2) KHET ME KHUDAI

(3) DOST KI VIDAI

3 Cheeze Kisi Ka Intezar nahi Karti

(1) RANDI KI CHOOT

(2) BIGDA HUA POOT

(3) AATA HUA MOOT

3 Cheeze Choti Na Samjo
(1) SOYA LUND

(2) AATI THUND

(3) Mutual FUND

3 Cheeze hamesa Dard deti hai

(1) KUNWARI CHOOT

(2) DAKU KI LOOT

(3) ATKA HUA MOOT

3 Cheeze hamesa apko khush rakhegi

(1) CHODNE KI KHUMARI

(2) BHOJAN KI TAIYARI

(3) MERI YARI.